So for those of you who don't remember: This account was made by someone when they were 10 years old, although I believe they had another account when they were around 8 years old.
This person has C-PTSD and DID (both of which have been medically recognized, this is not a joke;
both of these
diagnoses are legitimate disorders recognized by professionals & our case has been validated by several professionals), in addition to psychotic symptoms which may be caused by schizophrenia, though this hasn't been confirmed or denied by a professional at this point.
Over the past 2 decades, we've undergone repeated trauma, most of which was either caused or worsened by the internet. Our original trauma was an incident in real life which gave us these disorders, but the internet-based trauma just made our symptoms much more harder to deal with.
In addition, the response to us talking about our symptoms online has been, frankly, disgusting.
A child with severe trauma who has become completely disconnected from reality and has no support system in real life isn't going to understand that they're "just being trolled" when they get told over and over again that their symptoms aren't real and they're just making it all up for attention.
You know what they are going to do, though? They're going to want to loving kill themselves.
And if they're one of the many unlucky ones, they're going to do it.
It's honestly a miracle that we've survived to 21 years old.
Our DID has been a blessing and a curse in that regard - one of our alters is an "angel" who's kept us from killing ourselves this whole time. In the past, that seemed unbelievably cruel. We couldn't understand why anyone would want to stop us from ending the suffering we went through on a daily basis.
But now, things are finally starting to actually get better.
If it weren't for our partner, we'd almost certainly be dead by now. We met him earlier this year and he's genuinely saved our life many times.
Currently we're trying to get professional help again - prior to this our experience with therapy had actually just been a source of even more trauma, as we sat in sessions for hours completely silent and motionless, physically unable to do anything while the therapist basically ignored us, and then let us go home to our mom who would emotionally abuse us for not doing good enough.
It's a struggle, though, because we live in the US, which means everyone wants us dead.
There are so many professionals out there who refuse to believe our disorders even exist despite all the evidence. Those who do believe DID exist usually write it off as "the disorder that makes you become a serial killer" (most people with DID are much more likely to cause harm to themselves than to others).
My hope is that we can get out of here soon - actually get out and live, not just die. But sometimes I'm scared that that's never going to happen.
- Ethan & Theo
