Teds Text Adventure!!!

[Silver Fox]

continue the story:

One day ted was at his house and.....

[Ad Bot]

[Aphtonites]

Walked out of a door and died of a heart attack.

[Silver Fox]

lucky some random kid on the street grabbed his phone,called the paramedics and smiled as they resusatated him a week later ted left hospital and

[tcxxx572]

Bought a gun using his dad's ID and help up a bank. With the money he bought...

[NickTheSushi]

A IP hacker to kill Silver's Computer because of this handicapped internet game :D.

[Spation]

Then his house blew up, ripping Ted's head from his torso in a vicious display of blood and human effluence, rendering him 100% utterly, totally, completely, beyond helpfully dead.

[NickTheSushi]

We hope...

[Spation]

STFU. Ted's dead. RIP Ted, how much we will miss you. Ted's will said that we shouldn't give him a funeral or burn his corpse or anything. It also says never speak of this again. BTW, he's not asleep.

[tcxxx572]

Ted wakes up in heaven, then trips and falls back down to earth into a matress trucks. He hops out of the truck. Then he gets on to a bus and goes back to his house. He doesn't understand why his house was rebuilt and his parents are still alive, but he takes the gun he had earlier and robs a bank. He uses the money to buy grocaries, but accidently forgets something, and has to head back. When he arives at the store, he finds that it has disapaired and in it's place is...

[Ethan]

A dentist!  So Ted goes in to get that old rotting tooth pulled out.  He walks inside and changes his mind.  He decides to...

[NickTheSushi]

Jump in a lake :D

[Bushido]

Inside the lake are soul-stealing evil carp of death.

They kill Ted, steal his soul, and explode. Not necessarily in that order.

[Lt Chub Chub]

The borg come and assimilate the carp. The soul of Ted fuses with the borg technology and he turns into the ultimate amphibious carp of doom. On a side note the brain of the carp spreads over the whole borg collective and they suddenly start to flop around on the ground gasping for lack of water/gills.

[Swholli]

And Ted wakes up, realizing he wasn't in fact in heaven but in hell. And in hell these damn story topics are started thus Ted's adventure all started in hell. He is now dead, he isn't asleep anymore and being in hell can't be waken up, he is no longer dreaming he pinched himself multiple times to prove so, hell is a bottomless pit he can't fall or climb out of, none of this ever happened it was all just his own illusions in hell, there never was a Borg captain Picard killed them all, he is dead and there's no bringing him back because if hes brought back he simply dies again.


There, I think I ended all the loopholes. Try and contradict that :D

[Ethan]

As Ted was falling in the bottomless pit, he saw a doorway below him.  So as he fell towards it, he grabbed onto the ledge, and walked through to...