If you want to be exceptionally good, I'm afraid it'll require the sacrifice of a number of farmyard animals.
I suggest building a basic altar in the back yard with some rocks, shove animal carcass on top (or tied up alive, its probably better anyway) then insert kindling and paper under the stones and add fire. I recommend pigs and chickens because cows struggle quite a lot. Note that you can't just buy a leg of ham from the butcher - you must have killed the animal/human yourself.