The bible is a magical thing of paper and sometimes leather and to a lesser extent silk that predicts the loving future!
forget Nostradamus, forget the mayans and their calendar they were too lazy to finish, Jesus is where it's at. He knows all of today's bad stuff that resides in the world, like how wall street is evil and banks are run by those midgets from harry potter and stuff. He also predicted the discovery of polyethylene and how they will be one day used to create tiny plastic cards of momentous evil. He also predicted the discovery of bronze and how it will be no doubt used in the makings of tiny figurines with tiny snakees.
The US digging itself into a stuffhole because of several economically challenging factors that have remained unresolved until finally crashing back onto them for a second time due to several really dumb reasons? Blasphemy, it's tiny loving plastic cards, Jesus said so. He's right there you know, watching you read this, don't look behind you god help you just don't loving look back or he'll snap your cerebral cortex. Jesus WILL kill you.
In the 5th passage, section rho, sub section jah, sub sub section 54 it says explicitly "tiny plastic cards". Now turn to section 1826, it says "are evil". COINCIDENCE??
