So today I was called into the principle's office (For the first time ever in my life of going to public school, mind you), and:
#1: She wants to see my Satanic Bible (written by Anton LaVey), which I could kind of understand how some Christian dumbforgets got offended and reported it (And yet I stay calm and silent while all my teachers mention God's Word incessantly every loving day.) She thumbed through it and said it seemed harmless (Duh). Getting it back on Monday.
#2: Here's where it gets forgeted up. She was told I had "exposed myself" in 3rd period today. What. And she was told it wasn't the first time. Wait what? And then she said I was reported to have been masturbating in class. OK WHAT THE forget?
Ok, so I admit, sometimes I have to correct myself, sometimes my balls itch, but what guy doesn't need to do those things?
I may have accidentally popped out of the top my boxers while I was fixing my daily random boner, but jesus christ, masturbating?
The only explanations I can think of are: A) I'm a drummer, so I'm constantly playing air drums, and I suppose during a presentation, since the lights are off, someone may have mistaken it for me jerking my thing. B) I fiddle around with my phone in my pocket sometimes and I can kinda see how that would look like I was messing with myself.
Bullstuff to the fifth degree.
