"For those of you unfamiliar with Siberia, let me take a moment to paint you a little mental image. First, picture the most desolate, inhospitable, unforgiving hellhole of a wasteland you could possibly imagine. Then times that by eleven, bury the entire godforsaken terrain underneath about fifteen feet of solid ice, top that off with a foot-thick layer of wet snow, drop the temperature to a level so ball-chillingly cold that your urine freezes mid-stream, and populate the entire landscape with man-eating bears."