I have a couple
Q: What do you call a white rock rolling down a hill?
A: An avalanche
Q: What do you call a brown rock rolling down a hill?
A: A mudslide
Q: What do you call a black rock rolling down a hill?
A: A jail-break
2.
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Jimmy fell in the mud
Want to hear a clean joke?
Jimmy took a bath with bubbles
Want to hear another dirty joke?
Bubbles was his neighbor
3.
A man walked into a doctor and said "Doctor! Doctor! I swallowed a roll of film!" and the doctor said "Well, i hope nothing developes."
4.
There was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head on a magical cliff. Whenever you jump off the cliff, you say something and turn into it.
So the red-head jumped off the cliff and said, "BIRD!" and flew away
The brunette jumped off and said "FISH!" and landed in a river
The blond got a running start, tripped, and said "CRAP!"
5.
A blond went to a doctor. The tip of her finger was missing, so the doctor asked what happened. She said, "Well, my boyfriend broke up with me. my parents died, my house burned down, and I lost my job. I decided to kill myself, so I put a gun up to my ear. I was afraid it would make a loud sound, so i stuck my finger in the other ear. I shot, then i came here."
6.
A blond, brunette, and a red head were running from the cops. The red-head jumped in a trash can, the brunette jumped into a dumpster, and the blond jumped into a sack of potatoes. The police came and looked at the trashcan. The red-head said "MEOW" and the police thought it was a cat. They looked at the dumpster and the brunette said "WOOF WOOF" and they thought it was a dog. They looked at the sack of potatoes and the blond said "SACK OF POTATOES! SACK OF POTATOES!"
7.
A man called his x-girlfriend, but her kid answered. The man said "Hello?"
The kid replied "Hi"
"Can i speak with your mom?"
"No"
"Where is she?"
"I don't know"
"Why can't i talk to her?!"
"I'm hiding from her."
8.
A kid, his mom, George Bush, and his 2 bodyguards were in a plane. The plane blew an engine, and they all realized that they had only 4 parachutes, and the boy's backpack. George Bush said "I'm the president, I have to have a parachute!" and grabbed a parachute. The bodyguards grabbed two more parachutes. They all jumped. The mom said to the boy "Go without me. You have a big life ahead of you." The boy said "We can both go. George Bush took my backpack."
9.
What's the difference between you and a bucket of vomit?
The bucket
10.
There was a Texas Longhorn in a pick-up truck with two Aggies in the back. The truck fell into a river, but the Longhorn just swam up to the top. He noticed that the Aggies weren't swimming up, so he swam down and pulled them up. He asked them why they wouldn't swim up, and one of the Aggies said "We couldn't get the tail gate open"
11.
3 lightbulb jokes:
How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5, 1 to screw it in and 4 to stand around and say how much better they could have done it
How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
6, 1 to screw it in, and 5 to discuss how much better the old lightbulb was
How many roaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
We don't know, as soon as the light comes on, they all scatter
