Author Topic: Dear US president Barack Obama (parody)  (Read 4071 times)

Everyone makes mistakes in theory, we sometimes learn from mistakes to maybe prevent them from happening again. And that's why history books are rewriten established facts (unless they are a theoretical text).

Dear citizens;

    I see that there is a lot of unrest in the geopolitical masses of my domain. I am currently in the works to remedy all of this by means of building a giant space laser to eliminate infidel capitalist pigs and illegal aliens among our populace. Just do not mind random people bursting into searing flames or decompiling in a fiery maelstrom of light that splits their atomic structure into their base elements. Just remember to remain at least 100 feet from intended target.

                                                                           Best regards,
                                                                           Barakka Ol' Bamammajamma.

Dear citizens;

    I see that there is a lot of unrest in the geopolitical masses of my domain. I am currently in the works to remedy all of this by means of building a giant space laser to eliminate infidel capitalist pigs and illegal aliens among our populace. Just do not mind random people bursting into searing flames or decompiling in a fiery maelstrom of light that splits their atomic structure into their base elements. Just remember to remain at least 100 feet from intended target.

                                                                           Best regards,
                                                                           Barakka Ol' Bamammajamma.

I fully support this idea and not just because it kills people. However, will this space laser be big enough to kill all of the infidel capitalist pigs?

To the concerned citizen;

The laser itself is a fully modulated optic system designed for instantaneous and on the spot incineration of offending target. So long as they retain their intel appropriately (which will be determined not by a government field, but by well trained squirrels equipped with audio and visual enhancements.) The targets will be tracked and tagged by said squirrels and promptly eliminated apon a timescale of .068 seconds to a full minute depending on the severity of the offending crimes against US Interests. It's recharge rate will be almost instantaneous due to the cooling nature of the vacuum of space. Depending on how far the spread of these infractors, will depend on how quickly the operation can be completed. Estimated time of completion will range to about 2 months.

                                                                           Best regards,
                                                                           Barakka Ol' Bamammajamma.

But it's true that illigal imigrants that come here get jobs that we are needed on as citizen, plus they get free health care and all of that trouble rains on us, the are one of the major cause of this economic crCIA, plus the world over population that is killing the source and supply for survival, we are dying ladies and jents, and there is a WWIII comming in the future, and we might be it's recruitment.
i think that the next war will be a civil war, i mean we already have gangs claiming their territory, it will be gangs vs everyone else. and we all know the vigilantes will kill at least half of L.A, as if they already hadn't.

-Stuff-

Will the laser  be able to destroy houses and buildings? My neighbor is not here legally and he never leaves his house. When I went over to his house one time to borrow some flour, his house smelled like meth.

Space lasers are why I have a mirror in my room.


Will the laser  be able to destroy houses and buildings? My neighbor is not here legally and he never leaves his house. When I went over to his house one time to borrow some flour, his house smelled like meth.
Well the thermionic sensors can detect an individual in their domicile so a pin point shot would not only reduce collateral damage (and denying you a sweet movie like explosion) but effectively neutralizing the target. Of course if he is running a meth lab, most likely you'd not want to be around for the resulting explosion and you'd have half a house left to live in.

Well the thermionic sensors can detect an individual in their domicile so a pin point shot would not only reduce collateral damage (and denying you a sweet movie like explosion) but effectively neutralizing the target. Of course if he is running a meth lab, most likely you'd not want to be around for the resulting explosion and you'd have half a house left to live in.
BUT CAN IT CRUSH CARS?



Dear citizens;

    I see that there is a lot of unrest in the geopolitical masses of my domain. I am currently in the works to remedy all of this by means of building a giant space laser to eliminate infidel capitalist pigs and illegal aliens among our populace. Just do not mind random people bursting into searing flames or decompiling in a fiery maelstrom of light that splits their atomic structure into their base elements. Just remember to remain at least 100 feet from intended target.

                                                                           Best regards,
                                                                           Barakka Ol' Bamammajamma.
that would be awsome except if my kitty cats were near any of them

no, but it can penetrate them.
It can penetrate your mother.

DEAR Obama,
                       Want to make out?

-Feep

DEAR Obama,
                       Want to make out?

-Feep
Dear citizen whom age and gender remain a mystery to me;

        Sorry, have a wife for that. I'm sure you'll get over it soon.

                                                                 El Presidente Barakka Ol' Bamammajamma Esq.