Time to do the Eugene Levy impersonation...
Son I want to talk to you about procrastination. Now it's a perfectly natural, normal thing. It's like...practice, for the big game. Sorta like banging a tennis ball against a wall. It can be fun, but it's not a real competition. What you want is a partner, to return the ball.
Your Uncle Mort, he, he uhh, punched the one eyed snake at least 5-6 times a day. I used to call it stroking the salami.
Well if you uhh, ever need me I'm here you know. See you at dinner son.