Author Topic: Stories  (Read 6274 times)


Once upon a time
your mom went to bed
thats all im saying:)
The End

Once upon a time
your mom went to bed
thats all im saying:)
The End
get the forget out of my topic

lolwut.  How did I stop getting addicted to Menensauce, I want an episode 1 and a half.

Episode 1.5

The Cure

-Somewhere in the Japan Branch of MenenSauceTM-
"Look what I made!" Said a Scientist
"Thats....wonderful...I guess..." Said another.
"What is it?" Said a 3rd.
"Its a Cure!"
"To AIDS?"
"No"
"Cancer?"
"No!"
"Expo Markers?"
"NOOOOOOOO! TO MENENSAUCE YOU handicap!"
"Why would we want a cure to MenenSauce"
"Because Menen got tired and sad that Jirue was living on the Streets"
"Ohhhhhhhhh"
-Somewhere in the place where Jirue and Menen Live-
"Jirue! C'mere!" Menen yelled.
"Whaaaat..." Jirue said as he awoke from his cardboard box, that was behind Menen.
"I thought your box was over there?" Menen said pointing to the other end of the ally.
"I moves it."
"k"
"So what did you want again?" Jirue asked.
Menen held out the bottle of "MenenSauce Addiction Cure like Link does when he gets an item in Legend of Zelda games.
"NEW MENENSAUCE?" Jirue shouted as he tackled Menen for the Bottle.
"Uhhhhh.....Sure." Menen said.
Jirue drank the entire bottle dry. Then he felt funny.
"Menen....I dont feel so good..." Jirue said, then he fell asleep.


Epiloge
Jirue lost his addiction to MenenSauce, but he still loves it. Now Menen has a next door neighbor that lives in another big house right next to his...only the other one has a Anti-Headcrab Feild. Jirue never spent his Moohlah again because he invested into MenenSauce with the remaining 4 Cents he had. Now Jirue is rich...but not as rich as Menen.

"WHAT DID HE SAY!?"

"THEY WANT YOU TO GET ON SKYPE!"

"BIKE!? I ALREADY HAVE A BIKE"

"SKYPE!"

"Oh well why didn't you say so... MARY I DON'T KNOW WHAT A SKYPE IS!"


I... I think I love you.

Necro! (Another word for Bump)

damnit, i'm still looking for the second part of my Hank Malone story


"WHAT DID HE SAY!?"

"THEY WANT YOU TO GET ON SKYPE!"

"BIKE!? I ALREADY HAVE A BIKE"

"SKYPE!"

"Oh well why didn't you say so... MARY I DON'T KNOW WHAT A SKYPE IS!"



I lol'd so hard.

I demand a month old Bump because i enjoy this thread.  :cookieMonster:

Sarge enjoy's this thread too.

I want moar Menen/Jirue stories. D:<

Traveling through the veins of Herriman


This story takes place 3 years ago, when I lived in Herriman City, Utah.



--Authors notes--
To give a better visual of this story I decided to give a small description of my friends that I had shared this experience with. I'll start off with my friend Calvin. Calvin has been my best friend since forth grade. Calvin is tall, strong, and determined. Calvin is aggressive and you'll find him at the front leading the group with Cameron. He worked well with Cameron although he was more independent than Chad. Calvin believes that the most effective way to complete a mission is to use military tactics as does Cameron. He usually has really short brown hair. Calvin: http://tinyurl.com/qnzrl5 --- Cameron is focused on here and now. His favorite group is the United States military, he takes after them in many ways. He likes to be the best at everything out of his friends. He likes to be the commander in everything. He's quite selfish. He doesn't have much feeling, and he's completely non-religious. Cameron is no longer Calvins friend. Cameron: http://tinyurl.com/px8mxy -- Chad is a gamer. He owns like 3 or four game systems. He doesn't enjoy physical labor. He takes after Cameron in a lot of ways. He follows Cameron. He is most likely to listen and follow Cameron. Chad: http://tinyurl.com/orbwqx -- Anthony is very mellow, he's not nearly as aggressive as the rest of us. Anthony listens to everyone and is very understanding. Anthony has a great sense of humor and is fun to be around with. I have never heard Anthony complain. He's completely non-selfish. We all showed up wearing short sleeve shirts and shorts. Anthony: http://tinyurl.com/qhgtfh


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when Calvin called me. He told me that him and some friends were going to explore the tunnels. He asked me to join him, I quickly followed. He asked me to bring a skateboard for easy traveling. Seeing as I didn't have a skateboard I thought I would toughen up and just go through on hands and knees. I walked a ways and met up with Calvin, Anthony, Cameron, and Chad. The tunnel wasn't big enough for you to walk through, unfortunately. As we looked through the entrance of the small tunnel I questioned myself, "Am I really going to do this?".

It was quite scary, we had never entered more than 2 stations in. Stations are every 50 yards or so, a small 6x6 foot box, that had a small plastic ladder cemented into the wall and a manhole up above that the road passed over the room had corners made of cobwebs. This time we planned to travel through the entire blood system of Herriman. We looked into the darkness and felt a cool breeze in our faces. Although my memories are not so clear I think it was Calvin that entered first, Cameron followed, so did Anthony, then Chad, and finally me in the back.

The only person who had a flash light was Calvin who was leading the herd. I was blinded for what seemed like hours, the light was not reaching me in the back. We passed the first 2 stations very quickly because they were so familiar and we were so filled with energy and excitement of what lie ahead if only we knew things would change. Then we were in undiscovered territories, where few have gone and lived to tell the tale. Between the 2nd and 3rd station those who had Skateboards decided that it was too hard to ride them through. They were not going straight, and kept riding up the walls making us all have to stop so they could re-position them to travel straight. The skateboards failure was costing us a lot of time that we could be using to advance further into the black abyss. Everybody ended up leaving their skateboards lying on the cold gravel of one of the many station floors. Except for Calvin who oddly thought that his skateboard would come in handy later so he pushed his ahead of him the whole way through. Anthony managed to grab a wooden stick about 3 feet long that in his eyes were a life saving device. Anthony was terrified of traveling thought the many cobwebs that live in the darkness, so he had Calvin use the stick to tear down all the poor spiders homes. What a "jerk".

After we advanced somewhere around 5 or 6 stations inward, we became completely and utterly lost into how far we actually were. Cameron found a rock lying on the bottom of a station floor, picked it up and wrote "5" on the stations wall, this way we could kinda keep track of how far we had gone. We felt driven to write the number of the station on the side of the station walls from then on. We became exceedingly tired and worn out. Not to mention I never had a skateboard so I had gone on my hands and knees around 3 stations longer than everyone else. Between two stations we decided to rest in the middle of the darkness. We were so far from both the station ahead and behind that the light that shined in thought the manholes of the stations was not visible. As we rested Cameron who was a "Pyro" took out a match and struck it against the circular cement wall. He glared at the flame like a child glares at a cookie he has just received. Soon however the flame burned its way down the stick and he was forced to blow it out. Soon after blowing it out we all found that the smell of smoke was spreading like a disease through the cold confines of the narrow tunnels, where little oxygen circulated. It wasn't that big of a deal, we could all breathe until he lit another one. We all scrambled as fast as possible to escape the toxic smoke screen and regain our oxygen flow. Our much needed rest abruptly ended and we proceeded on through the seemingly endless darkness.

Then we came to a fork in the tunnel at one of the stations. There were 3 ways that we could go, one we could go into the left tunnel opening that was so small you would have to prone thought it on your stomach. The second was the right tunnel opening witch was the same size as tunnels we have been traveling through. The third way we could go, would probably have been our best decision, we could have gone back. Calvin tried and failed to go through the smallest tunnel so we decided as a group to go through the right tunnel. Right in direction, not right in choice.

Instead of straight the tunnel started to bend, left, right, left, right, left right. Slowly but obviously began to ascend, stations started to become increasingly close together, we felt we were finally making some headway and that the tunnel would soon end. We became very impatient for the end of the tunnel, we missed the sunlight of this nice summer day. Still the darkness continued. My knees and palms started to bleed from the friction of the cement. I felt as thought I would never see again, this had been the longest I have ever gone without being able to see. I was led by only the sole of Chad's shoe, to make sure that I was keeping a fast pace. There was no sound but the sound of the skateboard wheels rolling along the rounded floor, it was a sound that made your stomach drop.

As we proceeded we began to see a light, much brighter than a typical stations light. As we got closer and closer to the light, the light got brighter and brighter. We knew it was the long-waited end of the tunnel. We were extremely exited to be walking again, and the light badly hurt my eyes. Finally, we exited the tunnels, stood up and looked around. A dead end! Unfortunately, we found that we were in what could have been described as another station. Although it was larger in size, around 7x7 foot and around 8 foot high. At the top there was slanted steel gate. There was little pieces of steel that protruded from the cement wall. They stuck out about 6 inches. We used them to shimmy our way up the wall to take a look at what lie out of the gate. Calvin quickly made it to the top and took a good look out. Cameron followed to take a look for himself. I followed Cameron. There was just enough room for us three at the top.

Outside the tunnel we were in the middle of a park. Grass surrounded us, and neighborhood surrounded the grass. We saw a kid around 10 years old out playing basketball on the road. We called him over. It him a awhile to find where the source of the yelling was coming from. Once he saw us he came over. The expression on his face was priceless. I have no doubt that he has ever seen someone in that gate before. We told him that we had traveled for a very long ways through the tunnels. The steel gate was bolted into the cement. We asked the kid if he could go get some tools so we could take out the heavy duty bolts to free us. He went and looked for tools, but couldn't find any that would do the job. He brought back a hammer, we tried it, our try failed. We were forced to go the way we had came. The idea of this was crazy. There was probably a trail of blood from my palms and knees. These tunnels were truly veins. We didn't even rest, we were so angry with these tunnels that we started heading back as quickly as possible.

Calvin with his skateboard had the advantage of speed, because the tunnel went up on the way to the exit it went down when coming back. Calvin rode the skateboard down the huge hill on his stomach, because the floor was at a slope he could travel a good distance before having to reposition. I was angry because I saw it as unfair that Calvin could have an easy ride when I traveled without a vehicle the hole way. The rest of the group who had brought skateboards were also pissed at Calvin. Calvin did not care that everyone was angry at him. Calvin shared his skateboard with Chad, it was so unfair because Chad got to use it just be he was complaining the most. Chad was very angry because Calvin wanted his skateboard back. Calvin left the group and quickly disappeared into the darkness. At one of the stations we could not find the marking on the wall. We freaked out in fear that we were lost. We decided to continue even though the wall had no mark. To great relief the next station however did have the mark. We reached the point where people have left their skateboards and they grabbed them and rode them down. Cameron grabbed his first and left the rest of the group to meet up with Calvin who was probably already out of the tunnel. I still however didn't have a skateboard. I hadn't used one the whole time. It seemed like the journey was a lot shorter back, possibly because most of it was downhill.
My knees and palms hurt so badly that I fell behind the group. I could keep up no longer without the fear of passing out. I was going so slow every time I moved it hurt. I could see blood from my palms and didn't want to hurt them anymore so I decided to use my elbows instead. My elbows started getting scratched up pretty bad.

Finally, Finally, I saw the light of the tunnel exit. This was the entrance, but really the exit. I got out of the tunnel and saw everybody else lying on the grass. I was the last one to exit. I was very glad to finally be out of there for good.

------------------------------------------------------THE END--------------------------------------------------

The Story of Apple Bees Honey Farm
By: ND
      drug reference, death, langue, & violence      ©2008 
There once was a chicken name Frank, Frank loved apples and watched bees all day long. Frank was a simple guy but had a knack for cooking. He tried to open an eatery called apple bees until he found out the name was taken. Frank was devastated. Frank was so devastated that he slept outside apple bees and set the bottom right hand corner of the roof on fire every night.
Later, he started to try honey. It was the best thing he had ever tasted. In fact, he liked honey so much that he started to plan a honey farm. After 7 years and $30,000 later, Frank’s dream came true. He named his farm, Apple Bees Honey Farm.
 His farm was such a hit that he got honey farms all across the UK! 2 years after his great success, he went on The Price Is Right TV show and won $10,000. With that, and another $100,000, he set up farms all over the world. Soon Frank was sponsored by 60 different leading brands. Frank never left his HQ because he was afraid of Foster Farms.
He moved to New York City. In New York he met many strange men and women because of his farms. But an untimely death came on Frank. Now next time you eat chicken you’ll think of Frank (HE WAS ROASTED AND YUMMY!!!). Later on in life his brother, Jose, took over the farms. Jose saw Frank as he was being roasted.
A week later, Jose said Frank’s last words were, “Poison my meat! Stay the f**k away from this f***ing Burger King™ and tell those f***ers that I’m coming to feed on their f***ing souls! And further more… OH MY F***ING GOD! I’M BURNING!!! THAT NAME TAG SAYS JOHNATHIN!!! KILL THAT F***ER JOHNATHIN! AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!!!” “Frank had a very colorful vocabulary.” Said Jose with tears in his eyes.
Jose moved to New Port after the interview. Jose was disgusted to see someone put the interview on YouTube. “This has got to stop!” Jose said angrily. Jose sent a strongly worded letter to the YouTube user Rutabegafishy and he took the video off the internet. Jose was getting really depressed. One night he was walking down the cold New Port streets and a man noticed his sadness, the man said, “I know what can make your sadness disappear.” “You ever tried… lets just say, cookin pot.”
 Jose Said, “No but I’ll try it right now.” The strange man handed Jose a cooking pot with mold in it. “WHAT THE F**K ! I’M DEPRESSING LOOKING FOR A DRUG AND YOU HANDED ME A POT!”  Jose yelled. “YOU SAID YOU WANTED A POT YOU handicapped CHIKEN B***H!”  Just then Jose hit the man with the pot and ran as fast as he could.
Then Jose heard sirens and saw lights behind him. “STOP!” The police said. Jose stopped. The police man drives up and stops next to Jose. When the police car was turned off, the only light was the light of flickering street lights, not another car or person in sight aside from the police man. As the police man walks towards him, Jose sees that the police has a shotgun. “I saw you hit that man.” Said the police man, “there is blood on your wing to prove it. Get on the ground!” Jose saw a dagger in a pouch on the man’s boot. Jose jumps just as the police man fires his gun.
There is silence and blood dripping on the ground. “Uh oh! He shot my right wing!” Jose thought. The smoke of the gun slowly lifted into the nighttime sky. “Don’t even think about fighting back.” Said the police man angrily.
“I’m so close to the dagger!” Jose whispered to himself. “What Was That!?!” the police shouted. “Nothing, nothing at all.” - while thinking over Frank’s last words. “Poison my meat! Stay the f**k away from this f***ing Burger King™ and tell those f***ers that I’m coming to feed on their f***ing souls! And further more… OH MY F***ING GOD! I’M BURNING!!! THAT NAME TAG SAYS JOHNATHIN!!! KILL THAT F***ER JOHNATHIN! AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
We will now go to another relative, Drake. Drake was the type of guy who liked honey a lot just like Frank. Drake got news of Jose going into hiding in the police head quarters to hide from the police, thus reliving duty of the honey farms. Drake took charge of the farms. With extra money left over, and there was $834,672,840,495 left over, to make a small private island for his very own head quarters.
Drake shared Frank’s fear of chicken processing thus, motivating him to start his own army. Drake named his army DTCAABKAAOFFR which stood for Drake The Chicken’s Army Against Burger King And Any Other Fast Food Restaurants. But it was later changed to DCA which stood for Drake’s Chicken Army. The change was done because DTCAABKAAOFFR couldn’t fit on the name tags. DCA built its first base on some rocks at Zuma Beach, Malibu. The base was attacked and destroyed by crabs.
The reason the base was so easily destroyed was because it was made out of sticks and dry sand. The second base was nuclear blast-proof because it was made out of Twinkies with roosterroaches housed in them. The stupid thing about this base was it was in a military bomb testing ground. Suddenly there was a loud BOOM! “OH MY F***ING GOD! THEY’RE FIRING F***ING NUKES! RUN THE **** *** *** ****** *** **** * *** *** *** *** ** * **** ** ** *** ** *** *** * ****** ** ***** *** **** **** * *** * ** * * ************ * * * *** ** ** ** ****** * ** *********** * * * * OUTSIDE!”
There was a loud explosion outside followed by raining roasted radioactive chickens. The base was completely intact, and the roosterroaches were seen running out of the Twinkies and eating the heads of the army men who fired the nuke. Fox 11 News was on the scene in 15 minutes after the bombing. Every army man that survived said that they didn’t know that was Drake’s base. The Fox 11 News crew and the survivors were soon devorored after the interview that was posted on YouTube by Rutabegafishy 1 hour 43 minutes and 26 seconds later.
This time Rutabegafishy had to take down the video and he was sued for $999,999,999,999. Now Rutabegafishy didn’t have that money so he committed Self Delete. His death was uploaded on YouTube by the user Rutabegafish and the video was kept on YouTube as revenge. Just then a chicken climbed up a cliff. “HOWDY YA’LL!!!!!” it was Billy Bob Joe III. He too was apart of the chicken family.
Billy was ready to take the business into his own hands. For a hillbilly chicken he had great balance and was dancing on one foot on the edge of the cliff. “This sure is some goods funs I is havin! Whoa a little windy! WHOA WHOA!!!!! MY CORNDOG!” just then Billy’s corndog fell off the cliff.
Billy jumped of to save the corndog. Too bad Billy didn’t believe in gravity. Well, that must be the fastest time I’ve killed a character, boy… I shouldn’t be proud of this but….. I feel an odd sense of pride in this action. -_- ……………………………………….. good for meJ. Ok time for a chicken relative that lives! Let’s move on to Redrick the chicken who is currently frozen in the south pole.
Many years into the future, the year 2779 to be exact, Redrick thaws and travels around. A few weeks later Redrick makes it to America and finds himself next to a place called Earth Republic Base, he walked a little further to notice things that looked like escape pods flying through the sky. He was amazed, now he knew he was in the future. He was frozen in amazement, too frozen, an escaped pod lands on him plowing him straight into the ground. Redrick dies instantly…
Well I’m killing these little guys way to fast, nothing is being told about Apple Bees Honey Farm. Ok, now another chicken of the family that really LIVES

(Not done)

« Last Edit: May 22, 2009, 12:17:40 AM by Nightmare-Duckie »

Oh wow, Green Link, that was epic!

I wouldnt go through there for $1000

     There once was a man. This man's real name is forever lost to history. But, he worked at the local Quik-Sop. He didn't have that much money, or a real neat job. He was custodian. The day beforee his meager pay day, he emptied the trash. On top of the garbage, he noticed a torn up blanket. Now, this guy wasn't the brightest thing with apposable thumbs, so he fished the blanket out. He studied it, and noticed that it wasn't as torn as he thought. So, being the *cough*idiot*cough* he is, he tied it around his neck. now, just then a boy named Sterrance, a juvinile delinquent, entered the store. he saw this man with a blanket tied to his neck. Being annoying, he tugged at the cape so that it chocked the man. growing furious, the man grabbed Sterrance by the collar of his shirt and hauled him out the door. Not knowing his own strength, he actually punted Sterrance a few feet away. The man walked back in Quik-Sop. Passing a mirror, he noticed that he looked like a super hero. At the IQ level he has, he thought about becoming a super hero. He then marched out of the store, and planned on following the nearest police car he saw. Eventually, a cop did pass, but not in pursuit of anyone. Still, the man followed him. Studying the driver more, the man saw that it was that weird kid Sterrance again, driving. Springing into action, he jumped in front of the car. Nt a smart move on his part, because soon he was eating asphault. Surviving, he decided on a name, because the accident scrambled his brain just a bit. He wasn't creative, so he settle on just Man. Now Man went and saw that his favorite show was on.
Now, Sterrance was stealing a woman's purse, so what did Man do?
Nothing. He went home and wasted his life watching trashy reality shows.