ALL CREDIT GOES TO SIEGETANK55.
Greetings my child. I am the overmind and you will do whatever I please. My order for you is:
…..
…Well it’s much easier if I give you a hand book.
*Overmind psionically beams the contents of the book to hydralisk*
Contents:
1. Hatching out of the egg
2. Overlords
3. How to open your hood
4. How to walk
5. How to burrow
6. How to become a lurker
7. 1v1 combat
8. How to live a happy (90 second) life
1. Hatching out of the egg
Well, seems pretty easy, right? Well, not exactly. Since you’re a larvae that just formed into a hydralisk in like…20 loving seconds, here’s how you do it. You stick your claws through the egg, hopefully ripping it to pieces. If you are confused how to do this, then you’re screwed and the cerebrate will probably cancel your mutation and you die as a pathetic little purple stain on the creep. GG.
2. Overlords
Always do as the overlords say. If they say jump off a bridge, then jump! If it’s a tar pit, then I’d advise against it, but forget it you’re strong enough to swim through tar right?
2.1
Entering Overlords
Alright, well this is really motherloving confusing… try to climb those tentacles, avoid slashing, if you do slash it the overlords will make that wierd noise urrrrrrrrrrrgh. Oh well, screw it. He’s not the one doing the fighting. Even though overlords are annoying, they are usually stuck in bunches in a tiny corner or getting (loveually)harassed by Valkyries, Corsairs, and the likes.
3. How to open your hood
Okay..so…uh…..I dunno. You just go like this *beams flapping motion to hydralisk*
4. How to walk
This is my favorite part. First you stick your abdomen to the ground, then hump that motherforgeter. You’ll move soon enough. When you’re almost to an 0rgasm, then needles will start coming out of your hood. Open it quick! BAM! Those marines are dead.
5. How to burrow
There are three steps to doing this
a. Smash your face to the ground
b. use your claws to dig yourself in
c. get a straw so you can breathe, or smoke pot.
6. How to become a lurker
Well…you just go like this with your claws *beams arms covering face motion psionically*
Then after 2 seconds walls will spawn around you. Stay like this for about 20 seconds and voila! You have like…damn, 50 extra legs and arms, Plus a whole stuffload of lethal hair which can impale marines which are usually trying to impale you.
7. 1v1 combat
Vs. Drone
Shoot it’s brains out
Vs. Zergling
Aim at crotch or tail. Not at the faceplate like those idiotic marines in the cinematic
Vs. Hydralisk
It’s all about micromanagement…but you don’t know how to do that because you’re as dumb as forget. Anyways…just ram yourself in that motherforgeter. But you’re probably getting your ass killed by the time you get to this part.
Vs. Ultralisk
Turn into a lurker and kill that piece of stuff
Vs. Mutalisk
Just keep shooting at it’s balls or wings
Vs. Gaurdian
Run!
Vs. Devourer
Okay, this is a bit tricky. If the devourer tries to ram into you from the sky, dig yourself a hole, turn into a lurker and kill it with your supradense spinez.
Terran
Vs. SCV
Aim at the faceplate
Vs. Marine
You got this
Vs. Vulture
Just eat all the grenades it throws at you. Your stomach acids will digest it, unless it blows up within your throat… in which case you’re dead.
Vs. Tank
Burrow
Vs. Goliath
Micromanagement
Vs. Wraith
you got this, but call for backup though. You never know when Chuck Norris has decided to join the Terran Airforce
Vs. Valkyrie
Shoot at it
Vs. Battlecruiser
Run like hell, also if it’s purple bar at the bottom is full, just burrow
Protoss
Vs. Probe
Hump it until it dies
Vs. Zealot
Micromanagement, but watch out, You never know when Tony JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA has decided to become a zealot
Vs. Dragoon
Call for backup, or turn into a lurker
Vs. Reaver
Run like hell
Vs. Carrier
Aim at the carrier, not the interceptor dumbass. Also don’t be pathetic and get smashed by one
.
– failed Hydralisk defense. Screw you dipstuffs.
Vs. Scout
A bit tricky, but get back-up just in case. Or forgetit jump up there and slam that ho.
Vs. Arbiter
Run if you see shimers in the air
Vs. Observer
Shoot it’s face out
9. How to live a happy life
Well….your life isn’t meant to be happy, so just go steal some stimpack from those marines when they’re not looking. You should be happy nuff. Or become a entrepreneur .
– Hellz yeah…
– how not to get killed
Thank you…and…as always…LIVE FOR THE SWARM!
This entry was posted on 22 MaramWed, 12 Mar 2008 01:04:17 +0000, 2008 at 726 and is filed under starcraft. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
