Author Topic: Solstice of Fear (Read 592 times)

VerticalHorizon · June 21, 2009, 01:51:55 AM

I'm taking a break from Life in Black and White to work on something more intense.

Solstice of Fear is a horror novel I've begun recently, and I thought I'd share it with you guys.

Synopsis:

"Edward and Jonathon were two regular guys on their way to Jonathon's sister's house for Christmas when they crash and are forced to find shelter in a cave made for Satanic worship. An unspeakable horror finds them soon after their arrival. Afraid to leave the cave, and left with no communication, food, or supplies, Edward and Jonathon struggle to survive in a fight against the terrifying evil that awaits them just outside the stone walls."

The introductory chapter can be read here:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/16625687/Solstice-of-Fear-Introduction

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Healbadbad · June 21, 2009, 01:53:44 AM

sounds kinda cool, hope it goes well

Skele · June 21, 2009, 02:05:13 AM

"Each step like walking on walking on needles..."
Error in like the 5th paragraph.

Also, farther in, "'Good idea, we'll take turns.' I farted through my dry throat;..."
Might sound better to use croaked instead of farted. Farted gives me a different image.

Overall was good though.

VerticalHorizon · June 21, 2009, 02:19:48 AM

Quote from: Skele on June 21, 2009, 02:05:13 AM

"Each step like walking on walking on needles..."
Error in like the 5th paragraph.

Also, farther in, "'Good idea, we'll take turns.' I farted through my dry throat;..."
Might sound better to use croaked instead of farted. Farted gives me a different image.

Overall was good though.

Fix it in a minute.

I used "farted" to give it a small touch of humor.

Spiderobot · June 21, 2009, 03:07:40 AM

Thats a really nice 2 1/2 pages of a story. I really hope I can read the final product.

Pimpin · June 21, 2009, 03:14:24 AM

a lot of comma errors. many should be periods or semi-colons. look up how to use commas somewhere online. it's a simple usage, but not very well known.