Blonde jokes

[Moriarty]

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closetfloor.

You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!

I dont get it.

[Ad Bot]

[wiiman]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

[wiiman]

The guy was haveing love with his wife and the other guy did not know that he is dumb he thought he was scaring the children.

[Colten]

Am I the only one who got this PM?

Go check out my topic in off topic about dumb blondes.

[wiiman]

I am working on giveing it to everyone

[wiiman]

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."

A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."

[Thorax]

Two blondes walk into a bar.

You'd think that one of them would have seen it.

Lol.

I've heard that before, but it wasn't a blond joke.

Same.

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closetfloor.

You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!

Heard that befoer, but it's still funny.

A redhead and several blonds were hanging from a ledge, yelling for help. Finally, some guy walked up and ask which one he should help up first. One blond said she had a hair appointment she couldn't be late to. Another one said she needed to take her dog to a dog show she couldn't be late to. A few more blonds gave similar reasons. Finally, the redhead gave a big, long winded reason why she should go first. She made several outstanding points and could tell that they guy was going to help her first. So she wrapped up her speach, and when she finished, all the blonds clapped.

[wiiman]

lol

[Moriarty]

The guy was haveing love with his wife and the other guy did not know that he is dumb he thought he was scaring the children.

oh.

[wiiman]

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly.

As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.

He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it!

The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away.

He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said,
"I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold.

I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!"

[wiiman]

A Blonde, called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows". The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."

[Blockoman]

Three girls are running from the cops. They come to a farm.

The redhead hides in a chicken coop.
The brunette jumps over a fence and hides with some cows.
The blonde hides in a sack of potatoes.

The cops come to the chicken coop and kick the fence.
The redhead goes "squawk squawk squawk!" The police walk away.

The cops come to the field with cows. They kick that fence.
The brunette goes "Mooooo!" The cops walk away, still searching for the girls.

The cops find the sack of potatoes lying on the ground.
They kick it.
The blonde pauses, then says "potato potato potato"

[Jester]

A blonde called a airline wondering how long it takes there planes too get somewhere.

The Employee who worked for the airline said "Hold on one second."

The blonde said thank you and hung up the phone.

[BountyHunter007]

I got 2, for right now, i know a bunch more but i don't have alot of time.

1. There's this blond on a plane sitting next to a lawyer, the lawyer keeps looking at her and giggleing. She finally looks at him and says "Wtf is wrong with you?" he says "ok, let's play a game, i ask you a question, and if you don't know, you give me 5$, and when it's you're turn, and i can't find thre answer, i give you 50$. "OK" she says.

Lawyer: How many star's are on the american flag?
Blonde:uhh... idk *she hand's him five doallars*
Blonde: How many squerll's stancked on eachother would it take to reach the moon?
Lawyer:I- i really dont know. *hands 50$ to the blond*
Lawyer: but, how much would it really take? *BLond hands him 5$*


 -Next-

2. There's a blond that want's to learn how to pilot a plane or a heli, but they only had helis so she says ok.  she gets in the heli and take a walkie talkie from the instructor. "Ok! go to 1000ft" she does. "2000" she does.  "3000"  but right before the instructer's eyes, the heli falls to the ground. he races toward the reckage to find the blond still alive. "What happened?!?!?"  "oh, i got cold so i turned the big fan off!"

[Menen]

Blonde Jokes are so old.