Bullys

[Rughugger]

I spent a good deal of my life under the subjection of a tormentor. Granted different ones for the different schools I went to, but they always remained the same in tactics. They only stopped when I decided it was more fun to make fun of myself in front of them and their friends so that their insults and taunts seemed weak in comparison. I actually became a good friend with one of them.

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[zz_tophat]

I spent a good deal of my life under the subjection of a tormentor. Granted different ones for the different schools I went to, but they always remained the same in tactics. They only stopped when I decided it was more fun to make fun of myself in front of them and their friends so that their insults and taunts seemed weak in comparison. I actually became a good friend with one of them.

So they bullied you until you switched to auto-bully? Somehow it doesn't seem you came out as the winner in this situation.

[Rughugger]

So they bullied you until you switched to auto-bully? Somehow it doesn't seem you came out as the winner in this situation.

It depends on your perception of a win. If you mean to stop the torment of others on you, then oh yes, I definitely won. Secondly, after they stopped, there was no reason for me to continue on auto-bully as you call it so that is another win and I went on with my life with somewhat more respect from people. Tri-win is certainly not a fail.

[zz_tophat]

It depends on your perception of a win. If you mean to stop the torment of others on you, then oh yes, I definitely won. Secondly, after they stopped, there was no reason for me to continue on auto-bully as you call it so that is another win and I went on with my life with somewhat more respect from people. Tri-win is certainly not a fail.

I just don't consider sacrificing dignity for a prize to be a win.

[Rughugger]

I just don't consider sacrificing dignity for a prize to be a win.

Then you've never watched television....ever.

[zz_tophat]

Then you've never watched television....ever.

Aside from the history channel and the various discovery channels I don't.

I mostly read books.

[zackin5]

I've never gotten bullied. mostly because I'm homeschooled I guess

Unless you want to count my little sister. but that's more of a annoyance then bullance

[Rughugger]

On the other hand, I don't see how stopping years of torment and ridicule to be as meager as a prize. If it means a little bit of self depreciating humor to end a downward spiral of abuse, I'd be more than man enough to accept a drop in dignity. But what you don't seem to realize is that throughout all of this, I did not feel any less about myself. As I said, it was simply a means to end a series of events designed to cause me to be outcast and feel low about myself. What I was doing was no less than what anyone else was doing, so there was no dignity change for me, more so for the bully because he couldn't out insult me.

[zz_tophat]

I've never gotten bullied. mostly because I'm homeschooled I guess

Unless you want to count my little sister. but that's more of a annoyance then bullance

Sisters are the bane of any male sibling when it comes to bullying. If they were a brother you could hit them a few times and be done with it but sisters? You have no recourse.

[Messes]

Umm. Sorry i don't get bullied. One because I know the right people. But two you just need a huge posse of girls and guys. Once you have a huge group of friends you need to get well-known. Once that happens no one will want to mess with you because you have people who got your back; Popular.

[WRB852]

Someone wants to beat the forget out of me for dating their ex currently. Does that count? :D

[Antallion]

It's surprising how little I have to deal with it. Only occasional remarks, never anything ongoing.

[zz_tophat]

On the other hand, I don't see how stopping years of torment and ridicule to be as meager as a prize. If it means a little bit of self depreciating humor to end a downward spiral of abuse, I'd be more than man enough to accept a drop in dignity. But what you don't seem to realize is that throughout all of this, I did not feel any less about myself. As I said, it was simply a means to end a series of events designed to cause me to be outcast and feel low about myself. What I was doing was no less than what anyone else was doing, so there was no dignity change for me, more so for the bully because he couldn't out insult me.

That you don't feel any loss does not shock me, I long ago gave up on most of today's youth. "Pride" has somehow became a bad word associated with suborn old men. So many people are so proud to be "agreeable" that it sickens me.

It won't be until you have an outsiders perspective that you will understand what I am saying. Like the one day your child comes home from school and tells you that they are being bullied. Will tell tell them to degrade themselves for the amusment of others as you did? "Swallow your pride son, if you agree with the people that make fun of you, you'll never be mistreated again", of course this is the same as saying: "If you allow yourself to be mistreated enough you'll grow numb to it".

[Antallion]

'agreeable', aka unable to form own opinions; no firm supports for a personality, only what others think.

[Rughugger]

That you don't feel any loss does not shock me, I long ago gave up on most of today's youth. "Pride" has somehow became a bad word associated with suborn old men. So many people are so proud to be "agreeable" that it sickens me.

It won't be until you have an outsiders perspective that you will understand what I am saying. Like the one day your child comes home from school and tells you that they are being bullied. Will tell tell them to degrade themselves for the amusment of others as you did? "Swallow your pride son, if you agree with the people that make fun of you, you'll never be mistreated again", of course this is the same as saying: "If you allow yourself to be mistreated enough you'll grow numb to it".

One can say the same about dignity as well. However, it was either this method, or go the way of fueling their torment by getting into an altercation. Since I was in foster care at that point, I had to stay good for the sake of the county. I wanted to be out of that place as quick as possible. Dignity, pride, honor, those things were a foreign thing to me until I was on my own.

You only assume I'd force my children to make the same choices in life that I have. I have been there on the outsider's perspective.  I dated a mother of two and one of her kids (whom both were comfortable enough to call me dad despite not being married to her) came up to me telling me about that exact situation. Kids were calling him gay and things of that nature. I asked him one simple question, with the front that I wasn't going to tease or harass him for his answer. He said he wasn't. So I told him, "Well if you know you aren't, what's letting it bother you so much? Kids are going to say any number of things to try and make you feel bad about yourself and they will always be lies. So long as you know the truth, and you know that you're a good person, doesn't it make sense to not let it bother you and simply ignore them?" Needless to say, he's doing just fine with his own group of friends who respect and treat him properly.