English to 12 Year old AOLer translator

[Block Builder]

WUT SI love?!??!!

[Ad Bot]

[snot2]

IM SNOT YES

[Miga]

HALF-LIEF FUL-LIEF CONSAQUENCES
JON FREMAN WHO WAS GORDON FREMANS BROTHER WAS ON3 DAY IN AN OFIEC TYPNG ON A COMPUTER!!111 OMG WTF H3 GOT AN EMALE FROM HIS BROTHER TAHT SADE TAHT ALEINS AND MONST3RS WERE ATAKNG HIS PLAEC AND AKSED HIM FOR H3LP SO HE W3NT
JON!!1!1 OMG LOL FREMAN GOT HIS COMPUT3R SHUT DOWN AND WAT ON TEH PLATFORM 2 GO UP 2 DA ROF OF DA BUILDNG WHERA HA LAFT HIS MO2RCYCL3 AND NORMAL PEOPL3 CLOS3 B/C HE WAS IN HIS OFIEC LAB COAT!11!11 JON FREMAN GOT ON HIS MO2RCYCL AND SADE ITS TIEM FOR ME 2 LIEV UP 2 MAH FMILEY NME AND FAEC FUL LIEF CONS3QU3NCAS SO H3 HAD 2 GO
JON!!11!11 LOL FREMAN RMPAD OF DA BUILDNG AND DID A BAKFLIP AND LAND3D!11!111 OMG LOL H3 KAPT DRIVNG DOWN DA ROAD AND MAED SUR3 THEYRE WAS NO ZOMBEIS AROUND B/C H3 DINT HAEV WEAPON
THE!11111 WTF CONTRYSIEDS WARA NIEC AND TEH PLANTS W3RA SNGNG AND TEH BIRDS AND DA SUN WAS ALMOST DOWN FROM DA 2P OF DA SKY!!111!1!! OMG WTF TEH MOD WAS SAT FOR JON FREMANS QU3ST 2 HELP HIS BROTHER WHERE HE WAS!!!1!11! OMG WTF JON FREMAN LOK3D AROUND DA COUNTRYSIEDS AND SADE ITS A GOD DAY 2 DO WUT HAS 2 B DONE BY M3 AND HALP MAH BROTHAR 2 DEFEAT DA 3N3MYS
JON!!!1!! WTF FREMAN WAS LAET SO HE HAD 2 DRIEV RILLY FAST!1!!1!1 LOL A COP CAR WAS HIEDN N3AR BY SO WHEN JON FREMAN W3NT BY TEH COPS CME AND WANT3D 2 GIEV HIM A TIKET!1!1!1!11 OMG WTF LOL H3RE JON FREMAN SAW DA FIRST MONSTER B/C TEH COP WAS POSES3D AND HAD HAADCRABS
I!1!!!1! OMG LOL CANT GIEV U MAH LIESNSE OFIECR JON FREMAN Y NOT?!!?!! LOL SADE TEH HAADCRAB OFIECR BAK 2 JON B/C!!11!1! WTF LOL U R H3ADCRAB ZOMBEI SO JON FREMAN SHOT TEH OFIECR IN TEH H3AD AND DROVE OF THINKNG MY BROTHAR SI IN TROUBLE TH3RE AND WENT FAST3R
JON!!!11!!1! LOL FREMAN HAD 2 GO FAST3R LIEK DA SPED OF SOUND AND GOT THEIR FAST B/C GORDON NED3D HIM WHERA HE WAS!!1!!!1 OMG WTF LOL JON FREMAN LOK3D AT ROAD SIGNS AND SAW RAEVNHOLM WIT SOM3ONS WRITNG UNDER IT SAYNG U SHUDNT COME H3RA SO JON FREMAN ALMOST TURN3D AROUND BUT HAARD SCR3MNG LIEK GORDON SO HA WENT FASTER AGANE
JON!111!!11! FREMAN DROVA IN AND DID ANOTHER FLIP N JUMP3D OF HIS MO2RBIEK AND DA MO2R BIEK 2K OUT SOM3 HEADCRAB ZOMBEIS INFRONT OF JON FREMAN!111! WTF JON FREMAN SMIELD AND WOKED FAST!!!1!11!! LOL JON FREMAN TH3N LOK3D ON TEH GROUND AND FOUND WEPON SO HE PIKD IT UP AND FIERD FAST AT ZOMBEI GOASTS IN FRONT OF A HOUES
JON!!1!1 OMG WTF LOL FREMAN SADE ZOMBEI GOASTS L3AEV THES PLAEC AND TEH ZOMBEI GOASTS SADE BUT THES SI OUR HOUES AND JON FREMAN FELT SORY FOR TH3M BCAUS TH3Y CUDNT LIEV THEYRE ANYMORE B/C THAY WER3 ZOMBEI GOASTS SO H3 BLEW UP DA HOUES AND KILAD DA ZOMBEI GOASTS SO THEY WERA AT PEICE
THEN!1!11 WTF JON FREMAN HARD ANOTHER SCR3M FROM HIS BROTH3R SO H3 K3PT WOKNG RILLY FASTAR 2 GET WHERA HE WAS!!11!1 WTF RAEVNHOLDM WAS NOTHNG LIEK TEH COUNTRYSIEDS THEIR WAS NO BIRDS SNGNG AND TEH PANTS WERA DEAD AND TAH DIRT WAS M3SY AND BLODY FROM HEADCRABS
WHAN!!11111 OMG WTF LOL JON FREMAN GOT 2 WHERE DA SCREMNG WAS STARTED FROM HE FOUND HIS BROTH3R GORDAN FREMAN FIGHTIN TEH FINAL BOSS AND GORDON SADE JON FREMAN!!!!! OMG OVER HERE!!!1!1 OMG LOL SO JON FREMAN W3NT THEIR 2 WHERE GORDON FREMAN WAS FIGHTNG!1!!1111 OMG LOL JON FREMAN FIERD HIS BUL3T FROM TEH GUN RILLY FAST AND DA BUL3TS W3NT AND SHOT TEH FINAL BOS IN DA EYAS AND DA FINAL BOS CUDNT SE
GORDON!11!!! WTF FREMAN SADE ITS TIEM 2 AND THES ONES AND FOR AL!!!!1!1 WTF AND PUNCHED TEH FINAL BOS IN TEH FAEC AND DA FINAL BOS FAL!11!1!! OMG WTF JON FREMAN SADE THX I CUD HELP BRO AND GORDON FREMAN SADE U SHUD COMA HERA EARLEIR NAXT TIEM AND THEY LAUGHED
THA!!!1!1! OMG LAUGHED OV3RAD QUIKLEY THOUGH B/C JON FREMAN Y3LED LOK OUT BRO!!1111! WTF AND POINTED UP 2 TEH 2P OF DA SKY!1!11111 OMG WTF GORDON FREMAN LOKED UP AND SADE NO!!11!1!! OMG LOL JON FREMAN RUN OUT OF H3RA FAST AS U CAN!11!1!!! OMG AND JON FREMAN WOKAD RAAL FAST OUT
JON!!111 WTF LOL FREMAN LOKED BAK AND SAW GORDON GET STAPD ON BY TEH N3XT BOS AND H3 WAS MAD AND ANGRY
IL!!!!!!! OMG LOL G3T U BAK EVIL BOS!111! OMG LOL JON FREMAN YELAD AT DA 2P OF LUNGS
2!11!11 WTF LOL B CONTINUED.?!!1!11!1!11!!?!!!?? WTF

[-Mike-]

Hello there. My name is Michael Nalty, and I have studied Garfield for 10 years, I feel that I am ready to run for president of the Garfield Fan Club. Garfield was a great comic, what greater comedy is there than a fat cat eating food and kicking things? None, that is truly the answer. The only comic that comes close to Garfield in hilarity would have to be Dilbert. Where else can we see the ongoing shenanigans of middle-aged men fight for survival (and coffee!)?
    Now some people, they said these comics are lame. They would go that far to insult ANYTHING AMERICAN. Those people disgust me, they don't deserve to glance upon THE GREATNESS THAT IS DILBERT/GARFIELD! Now some people have told me about "webcomics". Heh, more like "nerdcomics". Who wants to read a comic but some loser on the internet for 12 hours a day? Losers, that's who. And to those Dilbert and Garfield fans that like webcomics; You have betrayed us. We have spent out entire lives on Garfield and Dilbert, only to have you scum look at pathetic "NERDCOMICS". You all disgust me. I will have none of you in the Garfield Fan Club.
    How will I change the Garfield Fan Club? Well, I have noticed we do not get much publicity. I will change that. There will be Garfield Fan Club banners in the street, there will be people wearing GARFIELD FAN CLUB T-SHIRTS, THERE WILL BE PEOPLE READING GARFIELD, AND THINKING "I should join the Garfield Fan Club!". That is my mission, that is my goal in life. To get the Garfield Fan Club powerful with a lasting mark on Society and Politics forever!
    But don't think I only care about the Garfield Fan Club! In fact, I have created my own Dilbert Fan Club. This also shows I have experience in leadership and responsibility. In the Dilbert Fan Club we discuss current and past stories and even create our own! Out of all the Dilbert characters, I think I like Wally the best. I really admire him, I mean, just look at him, he's bald and middle-aged, but does he give up? Does he listen to what other people say about him? NO! He drinks his coffee and gets the job done.
    In short, I believe that given my experience, I am fully capable of leading the Garfield Fan Club well. LET'S GO, FOR GARFIELD!
        ~Signed, Michael Nalty.
H3LO THER3!!!!111! MAH NM3 SI MICHAEL NALTY AND I HAEV STUDEID GARFEILD FOR 10 Y3ARS I FEL TAHT IM READY 2 RUN FOR PRESIEDNT OF DA GARFEILD FAN CLUB!!!1111! OMG WTF LOL GARFEILD WAS A GREAT COMIC WUT GRE8R COMEDY SI THEIR THAN A FAT CAT 3ATNG FOD AND KIKNG THNGS??!!!!!!! OMG WTF LOL NONE TAHT SI TRULEY TEH ANSWAR!1!11111! OMG WTF LOL TEH ONLEY COMIC TAHT COMAS CLOSE 2 GARFEILD IN HILARITY WUD HAEV 2 B DILBRT!11!!!!! LOL WH3R3 ALSE CAN WE SE DA ONGONG SHENANIGANS OF MIDL3-AEGD MEN FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL (AND COFE)
?11!1!!!1 WTF NOW SOM3 P3OPLE THAY SADE THAS3 COMIS R LME!1!111 WTF TH3Y WUD GO TAHT FAR 2 INSULT ANYTHNG M3RICAN!1!11!!!1 OMG LOL THOS3 PAOPLA DISGUST M3 TH3Y DONT DASERVE 2 GLANCE UPON DA GREATN3S TAHT SI DILBRT/GARFEILD!!1!1!!1 OMG WTF NOW SOME P3OPLA HAEV 2LD ME ABOUT WEBCOMIS!!1!!1 OMG WTF LOL H3H MOR3 LIEK NARDCOMIS!!1!1 OMG LOL WHO WANTS 2 RAAD A COMIC BUT SOMA LOSER ON DA INT3RNAT FOR 12 HOURS A DAY??!!!!! LOL LOSERS TAHTS WHO!1!!1!11! LOL AND 2 THOS3 DILBRT AND GARFEILD FANS TAHT LIEK W3BCOMIS U HAEV BTRAEYD US!1!1111! OMG WE HAEV SP3NT OUT 3NTIER LIEVS ON GARFEILD AND DILBRT ONLEY 2 HAEV U SCUM LOK AT PATHATIC NERDCOMIS!!1!1 OMG LOL U AL DISGUST M3!!!!1!! I WIL HAEV NONE OF U IN DA GARFEILD FAN CLUB
!!!!!!1! OMG WTF LOL HOW WIL I CHANG3 TEH GARFEILD FAN CLUB??!?!!!?! WTF W3L I HAEV NOTIECD WE DO NOT GET MUCH PUBLICITY!1!11! OMG I WIL CHANGA TAHT!!1!!111 OMG LOL THEYRE WIL B GARFEILD FAN CLUB BANERS IN TEH STRET THEIR WIL B PAOPLA W3ARNG GARFEILD FAN CLUB T-SHIRTS THEIR WIL B PAOPL3 R3ADNG GARFEILD AND THINKNG I SHUD JOIN TEH GARFEILD FAN CLUB!11!!1!! LOL TAHT SI MAH MISION TAHT SI MAH GOAL IN LIEF!!11!11!1 OMG LOL 2 GAT TEH GARFEILD FAN CLUB POWERFUL WIT A LASTNG MARK ON SOCEITY AND POLITIS FOREVER
!!!!!1 OMG WTF BUT DONT THINK I ONLEY R ABOUT TEH GARFEILD FAN CLUB!1!!1 LOL IN FACT I HAEV CRAAETD MAH OWN DILBRT FAN CLUB!11!!1!! THES ALSO SHOWS I HAEV 3XPEREINCE IN LAAEDRSHIP AND RASPONSIBILITY!!!!!!111 WTF LOL IN TEH DILBRT FAN CLUB W3 DISCUS CUR3NT AND PAST S2REIS AND 3VEN CR3AET OUR OWN!1!111! OMG WTF OUT OF AL DA DILBRT CHARACT3RS I THINK I LIEK WALY TEH BST!!11! LOL I RILLY ADMIER HIM I MEAN JUST LOK AT HIM HES BALD AND MIDLE-AEGD BUT DOES HA GIEV UP?!!?! DO3S HE LIST3N 2 WUT OTHAR PEOPLE SAY ABOUT HIM?!??!? OMG WTF NO!!!!1! WTF LOL HE DRINKS HIS COFE AND G3TS DA JOB DONA
!1!1!!! OMG WTF IN SHORT I BLEIVE TAHT GIEVN MAH AXPEREINCE IM FULY CAPABLE OF LEADNG TEH GARFEILD FAN CLUB WEL!1!11111 OMG WTF LETS GO FOR GARFEILD
!1111!11 WTF SIGNAD MICHAEL NALTY
!!!!1!1 OMG WTF LOL
To be honest, it's not really that funny.

[DrMobius]

IM SNOT YES

NO IM SNOT

[qevil]

TEH ULTIMAET SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMAET DASTINY

OLD GODZILA WAS HOPNG AROUND
2KYO CITY LIEK A BIG PLAYGROUND
WH3N SUDENLEY BATMAN BURST FROM DA SHAED
AND HIT GODZILA WIT A BATGRANAED
GODZILA GOT PISED AND BGAN 2 ATAK
BUT DIDNT 3XPACT 2 B BLOKED BY SHAQ
WHO PROCEDED 2 OP3N UP A CAN OF SHAQ FU
WH3N ARON CARTAR CME OUT OF TEH BLUA

AND H3 STARTAD BATNG UP SHAQUILE ONAAL
THAN TH3Y BOTH GOT FLATENED BY TEH BATMOBIEL
BUT BFOR3 IT CUD MAEK IT BAK 2 DA BATCAEV
ABRAHM LINCOLN POPED OUT OF HIS GRAEV
AND 2K AN AK47 OUT FROM UNDAR HIS HAT
AND BLEW BATMAN AWAY WIT A RAT-A-TAT-TAT
BUT HA RAN OUT OF BULETS AND H3 RAN B/C OPTIMUS PRIEM CME 2 SAEV DA DAY

THIS SI TEH ULTIMAET SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMAET D3STINY
GOD GUYS BAD GUYS AND 3XPLOSIONS AS FAR AS DA EYE CAN SE
AND ONLEY ON3 WIL SURVIEV I WOND3R WHO IT WIL B
THIS SI DA ULTIMAET SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMAET DESTINY

GODZILA 2K A BIET OUT OF OPTIMUS PRIEM
LIEK SCRUF MCGRUF 2K A BIET OUT OF CRIEM
AND TH3N SHAQ CMA BAK COVERAD IN A TIER TRAK
BUT JAKEI CHAN JUMP3D OUT AND LANDED ON HIS BAK
AND BATMAN WAS INJURED AND TRYNG 2 GAT STAADY
WH3N ABRAHM LINCOLN CMA BAK WIT A MACHET3
BUT SUDENLEY SOM3THNG CAUGHT HIS LEG AND H3 TRIPED
INDIANA JONES 2K HIM OUT WIT HIS WHIP

THEN HE SAW GODZILA SN3AKNG UP FROM BHIND
AND H3 RAACHAD FOR HIS GUN WHICH H3 JUST CUDNT FIND
CAUES BATMAN S2L3 IT AND H3 SHOT AND HA MISED
AND JAKEI CHAN D3FLECTAD IT WIT HIS FIST
THEN HE JUMP3D IN TEH ARE AND DID A SUM3RSAULT
WHIEL ABRAHM LINCOLN TREID 2 POLA VAULT
ON2 OPTIMUS PRIEM BUT THEY COLIEDD IN TEH ARE
THEN THAY BOTH GOT HIT BY A R BAR STAER OO

THIS SI DA ULTIMAET SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMAET DASTINY
GOD GUYS BAD GUYS AND EXPLOSIONS AS FAR AS TEH 3Y3 CAN SE
AND ONLEY ONE WIL SURVIEV I WOND3R WHO IT WIL B
THIS SI DA ULTIMAET SHOWDOWN.

ANGELS!!111!1!!1!1!1!1 WTF SANG OUT IN IMACULAET CHORUS
DOWN FROM TEH H3AEVNS DASC3ND3D CHUK NORIS
WHO DELIEVR A KIK WHICH CUD SHATER BONES
IN2 DA CROTCH OF INDIANA JONAS
WHO F3L OVAR ON TEH GROUND WRITHNG IN PANE
AS BATMAN CHANGED BAK IN2 BRUC3 WAYNE
BUT CHUK SAW THROUGH HIS CLEVAR DISGUIES
AND H3 CRUSHED BATMANS HAAD IN BTWEN HIS THIGHS

THAN GANDALF DA GREY AND GANDALF DA WHIET AND
MONTY PYTHON AND TEH HOLEY GRALES BLAK KNIGHT AND
BNI2 MUSOLINI AND TEH BLUE M3ANEI AND
COWBOY CURTIS AND JMBI TEH G3NEI
ROBOCOP DA T3RMINA2R CAPTANE KIRK AND DARTH VAEDR
LO PAN SUPARMAN EVERY SNGLE POWER RANGER
BIL S!!!1!! OMG PR3S2N AND THEODOR3 LOGAN
SPOK DA ROK DOC OK AND HULK HOGAN
AL CMA OUT OF NO WHAR3 LIGHTNNG FAST
AND TH3Y KIKED CHUK NORIS IN HIS COWBOY AS
IT WAS TEH BLODEIST BATLE TEH WORLD EVAR SAW
WITH CIVILIANS LOKNG ON 2TAL AEW

AND TEH FIGHT RAEGD ON FOR A CENTURY
MANY LIEVS W3RA CLAMEED BUT EVENTUALY
THA CHMPION S2D DA REST SAW THERE BTER
MR!!1!11!11 OMG WTF ROGERS IN A BLODSTANEED SWE8R

THIS SI DA ULTIMAET SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMAET DESTINY
GOD GUYS BAD GUYS AND 3XPLOSIONS AS FAR AS TEH EYE CAN SE
AND ONLEY ON3 WIL SURVIEV I WOND3R WHO IT WIL B
THIS SI TEH ULTIMAET SHOWDOWN.
THIS!11!1!!!!!!!11!!!1! SI DA ULTIMAET SHOWDOWN.
THIS!1111!!!!!11!!1!11! LOL SI TEH ULTIMAET SHOWDOWN.
OF!!1!!1!!1!1!! OMG WTF ULTIMAET DASTINY

[TapeDeck]

NO IM SNOT

BUT WHO WAS PHONE

[-Mike-]

BUT WHO WAS PHONE

????? are you 4chan ?????

[TapeDeck]

????? are you 4chan ?????

what is this i dont even

[-Mike-]

!!!!! you are 4chan !!!!!

[ShadowsfeaR]

I AET UR MOM LAST NIET AND SHE WAS DELISHUS!1!1111! LOL

[qevil]

I KNOW RIGHT!!111!!11 WTF LOL

[SuperToxic]

Holy Mother Of Cheese
HOLEY MOTHER OF CHESA

[Valen]

IMA GO PLAY BLOKLAND BCUA3S IT SI COL AND U R NOT COL MAH HA HA HA 111111111!!!!!! LOL LOL WTF WTF LOL OMG OMG WTF LAUGH OUT LOUD NOW I WIL S2RM U WIT LOL CATS

[Inv3rted]

IMM TWELVE AND WUT SI THIS??!!! WTF