Because you haven't downloaded any software that contains malicious code. Obviously.
Because it doesn't exist.
It's a conspiracy.
The entire world is a test.
I'm the only living being here.
You're all AI-controlled avatars.
I only witness people's computers loving up.
It doesn't happen to me, because this is all a test.
I'M TRAPPED INSIDE APERTURE SCIENCE OR SOMETHING
GOD HELP ME