Well I'm back.
With information.
After grabbing some cheap bag of chips (with a not so likable flavor) I inspected the beeping.
Aha, it was the new phone. It read "Low battery"
I knew something was up.
I thought for a moment, and realized...
Wireless phones...
Beeping...
Batteries...
Then it all clued in.
Microsoft steals power wirelessly during conversations through our cordless phones designed to use it's battery to steal power from our house.
It completely explains the 3 second beeps, which in morse code translates to "E. E. E. E. E."
Almost like a handicapped vampire laughing. We all know Microsoft is full of handicapped vampires.
To further test this theory, I have placed the phone on the charger to await any news about world hunger related to Microsoft's actions.