The Plan. (Script-Story)

[Evan5626]

CHAPTER 2 1/2:

Jonathan, George, and Patrick entered the agency's silver and blue convertible.
"Where are we going?" said Jonathan.
"To the grand theater on 83rd street" said Patrick as they passed by a group of oak trees with golden leaves.
Typing on his laptop, George said, "We've been sent a message...", and so they had.
George read aloud, "You'll never get your precious Anna bac-"
Jonathan, hardly believing what George had just read, said "ANNA!?"
Patrick broke in the conversation, "Well....yeah, we've gotten news that she was still alive weeks ago, but we didn't tell you because we didn't want you to get your hopes up."
"You...", Jonathan started, but was interrupted a screech that would stay in his mind for as long as he would live.
_____________________________ _____________________________ _____________________________ _______

@Captain
How so?
 

[Ad Bot]

[Captain Crazy]

@Evan

YOU'LL PAY

[Dippindots]

No more scripts?

[Evan5626]

No more scripts?

I guess so, they might switch, some people read better with paragraphs.
@Captain
I see.

[Illidan]

Chapters aren't 20 lines of dialogue.

[Evan5626]

Chapters aren't 20 lines of dialogue.

First of all, the first 2 were SCRIPTS, not even supposed to be "Chapters".
The third one was half of a chapter that I will finish later.
Why do you think I put "Script-Story"...
Yes I know it's confusing.

[Illidan]

First of all, the first 2 were SCRIPTS, not even supposed to be "Chapters".
The third one was half of a chapter that I will finish later.
Why do you think I put "Script-Story"...
Yes I know it's confusing.

It's not confusing, it just sucks.

[Remousamavi]

The completed would look better slanged up a bit IMO. Unfortunately, the old superhero theme that made Superman and other flashy characters popular is dying out, so if you make it public you'll definitely have to put a bunch of gangster-talk to spice it up. If you make it into a book you'll need an introduction to this whole thing. Something telling us who these people are, what happened to Anna, and something about their location in China. And I hope you have modern Chinese culture in mind, because chinese people react differently to what other people do.

Can't really suggest anything else until I know what it's going to become. Overall I kinda like it, the whole covert-operative theme of it, I just need some info to catch on to what is happening now.