Author Topic: Selective Mutism  (Read 2252 times)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When I was around your age, I used to have the same kinda problems, but that's because I was a shut-in who lived in the middle of nowhere. When I got to the age where I could go out and about without parental supervision, I was pretty scared of people. I don't know if it's the same in your case, but it was frightening because it was totally new to me. After getting used to an ultra-small community, all of a sudden crowds of people that I didn't know made me feel lost and helpless.

Not to mention that insecurity played a lead role in my social anxiety. All those small, negative things about yourself that you keep reminding yourself about just makes you feel like complete stuff, and you start avoiding people because you're afraid of offending them or making a bad impression or making an idiot of yourself.

I avoided eye contact, I was emotionally distant and I stuttered often. Part of it had to do with the culture shock, part of it had to do with a deep fear of being humiliated. My parents tried to encourage me to be social, but they just didn't know what to say or do. It was pretty bad until I started to gradually get comfortable talking and hanging out with people.

The only way I could really describe what I felt around strangers is like it was being vulnerable emotionally. I felt that people I didn't know personally were out to hurt me. For the first few times, it really helped to ignore any negative thoughts or fears and have small conversations, occasionally joking about and playing games with people. It was still pretty tough, though.

I started to make myself to go out of my way to socialize with people, despite my fear and insecurity. After awhile, it kept getting easier to talk to people, laugh and have fun until I didn't even need to think about it. Still have small issues from time to time, but it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be.

I wish good luck to you, and I'm glad that you're getting better. It isn't easy, and I can understand what it feels like.

When I was around your age, I used to have the same kinda problems, but that's because I was a shut-in who lived in the middle of nowhere. When I got to the age where I could go out and about without parental supervision, I was pretty scared of people. I don't know if it's the same in your case, but it was frightening because it was totally new to me. After getting used to an ultra-small community, all of a sudden crowds of people that I didn't know made me feel lost and helpless.

Not to mention that insecurity played a lead role in my social anxiety. All those small, negative things about yourself that you keep reminding yourself about just makes you feel like complete stuff, and you start avoiding people because you're afraid of offending them or making a bad impression or making an idiot of yourself.

I avoided eye contact, I was emotionally distant and I stuttered often. Part of it had to do with the culture shock, part of it had to do with a deep fear of being humiliated. My parents tried to encourage me to be social, but they just didn't know what to say or do. It was pretty bad until I started to gradually get comfortable talking and hanging out with people.

The only way I could really describe what I felt around strangers is like it was being vulnerable emotionally. I felt that people I didn't know personally were out to hurt me. For the first few times, it really helped to ignore any negative thoughts or fears and have small conversations, occasionally joking about and playing games with people. It was still pretty tough, though.

I started to make myself to go out of my way to socialize with people, despite my fear and insecurity. After awhile, it kept getting easier to talk to people, laugh and have fun until I didn't even need to think about it. Still have small issues from time to time, but it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be.

I wish good luck to you, and I'm glad that you're getting better. It isn't easy, and I can understand what it feels like.

Also, I hate my voice.
holy stuff this

i mean not enough to mute myself or something but god damn, even though i'm over the squeaks and stuff
my voice sounds loving annoying in my head and i don't know how anyone i know puts up with it like seriously

i doubt it's that bad but talking annoys me sometimes because of this.


Selective Mutism is when you choose not to talk.
Would you do it?
I would, and likely I would try to do it for as long as it is possible for me to keep it up.
Though everyone who surrounds me would shun me and hate me if I did it...
i do it when i see people in person.
If i don't say anything,i can't possibly say anything wrong can i?

didnt ghandi do this for days at a time

didnt ghandi do this for days at a time
I'm fairly sure it's called prolonged meditation (or am I mixing it up with prolonged medication? who knows).

I for one, love my voice.

I for one, love my voice.
Is it vain to think that
Because I totally think that

Why would you? I can understand not talking very often, but straight up never talking is seriously difficult. It'd take weeks before you taught yourself to not impulsively respond to people talking to you, and unless you told everyone close to you that you're not going to talk any more, your social life would be ruined. Why even bother?

took the words straight from my face.
Wat
I've talked with you on Skype. As far as I can remember, there isn't anything abnormal about your voice or anything. Don't hate your voice

And I imagine everyone else saying the same thing is probably in the same boat- as in they're a lot more self-conscious then they should be.

After coming back from Home-schooling into public school, I went through several years of extreme self-consciousness and I also disliked my voice for a long time. Some of that was rooted in truth, I did act a little weird because I forgot how to act normal. Same goes for how I spoke. But a lot of that was just in my head- that was the self-consciousness talking. I can promise you that nobody cares nearly as much about how you act and talk as you might think they do.

But as weird as it is, sociability takes practice to get good at. If you're never social, you're never going to be good at it, and thus you're only making the problem worse. Consciously choosing to be mute (basically to be anti-social) is a terrible decision. I'm certain that it's very unhealthy emotionally and psychologically. It's a million times better to go through a little bit of time struggling to learn how to be social than to choose not to ever be. There isn't much that can compare to making close, real-life friends. Not to mention that being social will get you tons of opportunities in life you'd never get otherwise
 

after a few hours i get a weird feeling of not hearing my own voice, i have no idea its weird,  i mean i wont like yell "BANGALANGADOODAH" in the middle of class, but idk.

I'd been scared to talk to people that I don't know for a while, but I'd still do it. But, over time, I've gotten much better about it. Talking to strangers is still nothing I like to do, but I don't hate it as much as I used to. This probably because I started talking to people as I got older and went out with friends more, and ordered stuff at resturants, bought stuff, and just interacted with the people around me.