fine i guess i'll do the passive and offensive format
Passive
Take it as a joke - Takes half damage for 2 turns.
Counter Argument - Deflects a ranged attack for 4 turns.
Server Host - Brings up a wall that looks like a console, but only remains for 30 seconds.
Random-Ass Thread - Ups attack for 1 round.
OFFENSIVE
Boulder Dash - Throws a boulder with a random effect. Can vary from stun, high damage, nothing, etc.
Comic Bash - Uses my weird sense of humor to draw a comic, stunning one enemy on the other team for 3 rounds. Takes 2 turns, and takes critical damage while charging.
"gj" - Disappoints an enemy for one round, reducing their attack.
Jack off and leave - Instant kill, but causes enormous damage to both parties.