embarrassment stories

[Maxxi]

that's nothing
when I was younger and was sleeping in the same bed as my mother I always kicked her in my sleep
happened when I went camping with my cousin too

i used to do the same thing when i was younger

[Ad Bot]

[blockguy™]

Sleepwalking story:

I was at my friend C's house spending the night. He has a bunk bed. According to him, I got up in my sleep, climbed down the ladder, walked into the hallway, kicked his little sister's door, jumped in the laundry basket, put my hands up like a black person in Ferguson, and then got out of the basket, and I like took a stuff in the hallway but it was a really really bad fart. He proceeded to slap the stuff out of me four times. I was still alseep. I woke up and he told me all about it in the morning. I had no idea this happened. The left side of my face was red from where he slapped me'

[Ragequit]

i used to piss myself every day of kindergarten during nap time
i could never sleep during and the teacher would bitch at anybody who was awake during naptime

[Ceist]

i was in a third grade we got points for the day, however if we did something bad, points got deducted. points were used as a daily behavior grading scale. the less points we had, the worse our punishments were.

one day i got the bright idea, for some loving odd reason, in the middle of the day, to erase everyones points. i got deducted the most points that day.

[SuperFlaminninja³]

i kick in my sleep like a loving horse

Not only do I kick, I also talk, and sleepwalk, and sometimes I'll yell, but according to my mother, whenever I bang my head on the wall I'll go "ow forget that hurt". i also roll around llike a homeless persom in a sleeping bag getting tossed down a hill.

both me and my parrot laughed at this (although he was copying me)

[Youtuber42]

i kick in my sleep like a loving horse

Not only do I kick, I also talk, and sleepwalk, and sometimes I'll yell, but according to my mother, whenever I bang my head on the wall I'll go "ow forget that hurt". i also roll around llike a homeless persom in a sleeping bag getting tossed down a hill.

I sleepwalk and make food, I once made a loving bagel and ate it and when my mom asked what i was doing I said baking bagels bitch and she lost it for some reason.

[jarelash]

I was watching an anime movie in the middle of class on my tablet, when suddenly there were boobies. I was sitting in the front row.

[Refticus]

>walk into gamestop
>ask for a copy of atelier totori
>"what?"
>spaghetti slowly drips from my pockets
>oh god not again
>face gets red
>"please give me a copy of atelier totori right now."
>"i don't know what that is. what platform is it on?"
>struggling to contain my embarrassment
>clenching my asscheeks together to hold in my stuff
>meanwhile spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets
>voice reduced to a mumble
>"have money please atelier totori give money please game"
>"are you ok?"
>stuff breaches through my asscheeks
>propelled forward at 60mph
>crash through gamestop employee's counter
>he's holding on to me for dear life
>all the while spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets like fumes
>crash through the entire row of buildings in the strip mall, broken glass shards in my face
>yelling "ATELIER TOTORI PLEASE MONEY ATELIER GAMESTOP TOTORI"
>gamestop employee is covered in stuff and spaghetti
>my pocket rocket shows no signs of stopping
>he tilts me backwards
>the sheer force of my stuff has reached 650mph, we are now propelling upwards
>the spaghetti and stuff intertwines and falls down to earth in glorious yellow and brown streams as we head towards the stratosphere
>children below frolic in the mess falling from my star fish
>the g-force is causing my asscheeks to flap vigorously and create a gale
>spaghetti and stuff blowing through the air on the planet below
>3 miles upwards now
>gamestop employee has died from lack of oxygen, his body falls to the surface below and is shredded by the force of my stuff
>my transformation is almost complete
>as i leave the atmosphere my bear hands sprout and my tail grows, acting as a rudder
>steer myself across the cosmos with my gleaming stuff and spaghetti trail

[Clone v.117]

Posted in wrong thread
 

I once went to a hospital for an xray and forgot to wear pants.
My friend and dad were there and we parked so far from the place I waddled for ages with my shirt over my knees and had to do the whole thing without pants.
I was around 9.

[Machaty]

OP, greentext stories only work if they're not stuff. They don't even have to be true (this one sure as hell wasn't) they only need to be written by somebody with a frontal cortex and basic understanding of the human language.

The hell is wrong with you? Chill out man, this response was completely uneasicary.

[Rigel]

atelier totori

Pure gold.