"I may not be an expert in the field, as in I don't have a loving clue what I'm talking about, but I'm pretty sure this Large Hard-on thing is a gateway to satan and we're all going to hell!
Scientists have always been, you know, sneaky and stuff and doing stuff I can't possibly understand due to my short term memory and extremely short attention span, so I bet they're devising some pure evil stuff and they're going to kill us all and themselves and stuff in the name of their witchcraft science! Also my horoscope for the day says I'm a pretty pony and planets are actually gods that do stuff, big round gods!
Oh yeah also I predict we're all going to die in 2010, and if not 2012 I guess since it's popular but it was predicted by aztec scientists and they can go forget themselves. Anyways who wants to come live with me in a cave for several months and then commit Self Delete to survive 2010? I'll be there for sure if the place has cable so I can watch Oprah"
I think this is an accurate summation of what doomsayers are all about.