Lick him.
What if he's all slimey?
Stick it in his pooper.
Pinch his nipples.
what if he had them surgically removed?
Grab his manboobs.
USAS-12
These things are loving awesome.
If I were you, and he asked to come over to my house, I'd say yes but tell him to dress up like a salesperson. So then, when he rang the doorbell and if my dad answered (BTW my dad HATES salespeople), he would shoot him repeatedly with a USAS-12.