The zero

[Tom Gunn]

Hey i can read it now.
Can you indent the paragraph now?

[Ad Bot]

[goobler402]

Hey i can read it now.
Can you indent the paragraph now?

Done.

[JD]

There are way too many spelling and grammatical errors for me to even start to read this with a serious attitude.

[Triple Nickels]

Chapter 1
VROOM!

DO NOT WANT!

This is a story i am writing:

Chapter 1
I sat on the cold steel bench in bleacher park as I awaited the city bus to pull up around the slightly bent street lamp on the corner. The sound of the ships overhead rang in my eardrums. As the everyday patrols passed by, my friend Tom who had joined the Alecaranian military airforce tossed me a quarter. He walked off around the building off to the far right with his unit. He said the day before he left the patrol to join the alecaranian fleet would be within half a year. The gleam of the light reflecting off of the green-red bus shone in my eye, blinding me for nearly a second. The bus stopped in front of the bus stop which was a few feet to the left.

As I entered the bus, the bearded Caucasian bus driver looked my directly in the eyes and said "25 cents." in a raucous voice. I quickly took the quarter Tom had given me and slid it into the coin slot near the radio. I walked down the isle to the 3rd seat and sat. As the bus started off, I pulled out my miniature computer to check my emails. After finding nothing in my inbox, I decided to put it away and look out the window. A patrol unit equipped with a bunch of C.R.A.G.s and M.T.R.C.R.s, standard issue, an old woman walking her dog, a small robot cleaning the front steps of an office building, and an airport full of people and ships.

Our city has it all, I thought. I stepped off the bus and walked to the beginning of the huge fleet of stairs on my apartment building. I took my key out of my pocket and placed it in the lock on my apartment's door. I turned the key and opened the door slowly. As I walked in, I smelled the smell of pizza and cigarette smoke. My roommate, Jerry, was sleeping on the couch. I switched on the T.V. and flipped through the channels, I stopped on the news channel and watched an interview with Tom Gunn. After a few minutes, I changed the channel to the movie channel and watched a documentary on the famous fleet commander, Captain Huggum. An hour later, i heard a loud bang come from outside.  Jerry yelped and sat straight up, startled and plummeted onto the floor, I ran to the window as the sky grew black.
To be continued

I fixed it a bit. Mostly grammatical errors, but some of it was plain drivel.

[Triple Nickels]

.

[JD]

Keep it one post, dude.

[Triple Nickels]

Keep it one post, dude.

I read the first line and saw "VROOM!" and posted about how terrible it was. Then, I decided to fix it. I didn't feel like quoting him, copying the text, pressing back, going to the last page, clicking edit, hitting enter a few times, and pasting the quote with fixed-ness.

[JD]

You edited one of those posts, why can't you just include it all in the same post?

[Triple Nickels]

You edited one of those posts, why can't you just include it all in the same post?

Oh alright. I will.

[Dippindots]

It's OK, you just got way to descriptive. Nobody cares how many feet away the bus stop is.

[oromis]

it should be more like FOGHOOOORRRRRRRRN, the sound of ships shattered my ear drums and i started bleeding from the ears profusely. As I noticed the crimson color of death leaving my ears, I realized I forgot to eat my sandwich. It is still sitting on the kitchen table, waiting patiently to be eaten. While I still had time to live, I called my friend LSP. I told her to eat the sandwich. My final words were: "AND BITCH IF YOU EAT THE SANDWICH, YOU BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE MAKING ANOTHER ONE!"

[Corbiere]

I ran to the window as the sky grew black.

And the zombies came from outer space!

[goobler402]

And the zombies came from outer space!

How'd you figure it out?

[Klayboxx]

Why would he plummet to the floor? Usually that word is used when there is a long fall involved, and the length from the floor to the couch is not a long fall.

[A.R.C.]

Why would he plummet to the floor? Usually that word is used when there is a long fall involved, and the length from the floor to the couch is not a long fall.

space couch