I didn't kill myself, I saved a little kid. From a fire. I'm guessing one of you guys told him to go die in a fire, he took it literally.
So this little kid of 8 or 9 years is playing around a fire pit. He was going to sit down on the surrounding concrete blocks, when gravity pulled him down into the burning coals. To save his ever so precious ass, he put his hands down to save him. Then he starts screaming OW OW OW forgetER, so while everyone around him points, laughs and records it, I jump in and pull him out of the fire!
Then we made fun of him, saying my friend pushed him in, singing 'One little monkey jumping on the bed (of burning coals)' etc. etc.