Author Topic: How to Make a Cake!  (Read 2858 times)

This is how to make a cake in 15 easy steps for you and the wife! (Do not use this if you have children under 20)  :cookieMonster:
1#
Get your wife to get in the kitchen
2#Tell her to get flour and put it in the bowl.

3# Ask her for remote

4#tell her to put a damn egg in

5# MAke that 2 eggs

6#Stir it

7# Put on the game

8# Get a flat cake pan

9# Put it in the oven and wait 15 mins

10# Yell at your husband to get off his lazy ass

11# Take cake out

12# Put icing and sprinkles on

13# Let your husband eat it and you.

14# Get your wife to clean it up.

15# TEH END


13# Let your husband eat it and you.

14# Get your wife to clean it up.
What is this stuff.


Menen, I think you misused that graph.



Dat bitch better put chocolate in it.


Cake Making

1. Obtain mud, if you already have fresh mud at hand, skip to step #5
2. Locate a patch of dirt in any area, make sure it's nice and clean dirt
3. Use any source of water or different liquids for other tastes
4. Apply your liquid to the patch of dirt
5. Now that you have your mud, proceed to find a flat surface Ex. flat rock, plank of wood, etc.
6. Transfer your fresh mud to the flat surface and shape it into any shape you would like, most common known as "mound"
7. Find some extras to add to your cake, such as, old leaves, grass, worms/bugs, or other items you can find
8. Make sure to not leave your cake alone for too long, and try to apply more liquid or mud if needed
9. Apply your extras to your cake and bring it to your mother
10. Watch as she enjoys that wonderful cake (she's not fake-eating it or pretending to enjoy it)

Accessories

11. Every cake needs some pzazz!
12. For a cake that imitates a crumb cake, sprinkle some grains of sand or small pebbles over the cake
13. For a cake that imitates a cheese cake, you can always find some of that "mold" as the kids call it
14. For an cake that imitates an ice cream cake you will have to construct your cake in the winter in a snowy area
15. For a cake that imitates a pudding/creme cake, add a lot of your liquid, milky liquids help
16. For a cake that imitates a cake with nuts, some larger sized rocks may be needed


Edit:
Nump (New bump!)
yeah... i'm gonna stick with "Bump"


1 box devil's food cake mix
1 egg
1 stick butter only, melted
1 large package chocolate chips
pecans, many as you like
1 package (8 oz. size) cream cheese, softened
2 eggs
1 box powdered sugar

Mix first 3 ingredients together into non greased 9x13 inch pan.

Over cake mix, sprinkle chocolate chips and as many pecans as you like. Mix softened cream cheese, 2 eggs, powdered sugar together, beat with power mixer until smooth. Pour over mixture in cake pan.

Bake at 350 degrees F, 35-40 minutes until top is golden, puffy.


Not stuffting you this is delicious.

I actually know how to bake a cake. My family has 2 cookbooks dedicated to deserts. C:

That, mind you, is out of 15 - 20 family cookbooks. They are mostly store bought, (Several homemade cook books) but with edited recipes and scraps of papers and unused coupons. There is one that has a newspaper page talking about the Supreme Court during Jimmy Carter's terms. :3 One cookbook even dates back to, like, the 30s. :o

I'll find a good recipe!  :cookieMonster:

Ah ha! Here is one. :3

Fudge Layer Cake (Mind you, this is from scratch. None of that box stuff. :o)

Ingredients
  • 4 ounces unsweetened chocolate
  • 6 tablespoons water
  • 11/2 cups sugar
  • 1/2 cup shortening
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 3 eggs
  • 2 cups flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2/3 cup milk

Instructions (I'll break it down as simply and contemporary as I can, this recipe is dated back to the 70s, even though most of it is comprehensible. :P)
1. Preheat Oven 370 F
2. Butter and lightly flour two 9-inch cake pans
3. Stir chocolate, water, 1/2 cup of the sugar in a small pan over a low heat (Stove), stirring often and vigorously blending as chocolate melts
4. Cook until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth, then set aside.
5. Cream the shortening and remaining 1 cup of sugar together until smooth and light; add vanilla and beat until well-blended
6. Add eggs, beating each after adding to the mixture.
7. Sift the flour, baking soda, and salt together. Add each ingredient together alternatively with milk. (Flour, milk, baking soda, milk, salt, milk)
8. Add chocolate to the mixture, beating until well blended.
9. Pour batter into pan (See step 2)
10. Bake for 35 - 45 minutes. After fully baked, sit it to cool for 10 - 15 minutes

-Will make 2 9-inch layers-
Frosting
1. Stir together 2 ounces of unsweetened chocolates (in bits), 11/2 cups of sugar, 1/2 cup of milk, 4 tablespoons of butter, 1 tablespoon of corn syrup, and 1/4 teaspoon of salt together in a pan.
2. Heat until boiling, cooking for 1 minute while stirring. Afterwords, cool.
3. Add 1 teaspoon of vanilla, beat until mixture is thick

-Will make about 2 cups-

Serving Size
- Doesn't matter. If you're going to become/stay fat, this is the right way to do it.  :cookieMonster:



Yey cake! I'm not responsible for any injuries that may occur during this process. :o

This thread makes me want some cake.