Author Topic: The best "your mom jokes"  (Read 2997 times)

Your mom is such a fatty she was all "Dayum get me some waffles." and then you did.

The end.

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Yo momma so fat, scientists have declared her ass to be the 10th planet.
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You mean 9th.




What about his "the nine-nth"?
what?
anyway ill post a page of them
Yo momma's face is so entrepreneur ly that her tears need a 4x4 to get down her face.
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Yo momma's so loose, she jerks herself with the fat end of a baseball bat.
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Yo momma so poor when I rang the doorbell she stuck her head out the window and yelled ding dong.
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Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
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Yo momma's so poor, she has to hang toilet paper out to dry.
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Yo momma's so poor, when I stepped on a lit match in her house, she yelled "Who turned off the furnace"!
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Yo momma's so poor, she can't get rid of the roaches in her house 'cause they pay half the rent!
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Yo momma's feet are so crusty, when she walks on a wooden floor, it sounds like she's tap dancing.
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Yo momma's like a pie, everybody gets a piece.
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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked for a water bed, they threw a blanket over the pacific ocean.
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Yo momma's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy!
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Your momma's so fat, your family pictures have to be taken by a satellite!
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Your momma's like the village bicycle, everybody gets a ride.
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Yo momma's got a party in her mouth tonight, and everybody's cumming.
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Yo momma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.
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Yo mama so skinny her pyjamas only have one stripe.
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Your mommas so ugly the army doesn't use guns any more, they use her picture.
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You're mama is so poor that she chases the garbage truck with a shopping list.
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Yo momma is so fat she caught a flesh-eating virus... and that was three years ago.
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Yo momma so short she can hang glides Doritos.
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Your mother is so fat she asked for a water bed and they put a blanket over the ocean.
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Yo Momma's so fat, when she walks by the TV I miss a season of Friends.
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Yo momma's so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
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Yo mamma so old she has the autographed version of the Bible.
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Yo Mamas so stupid she locked herself in the bathroom and pissed her pants.
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Yo mama's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a grocery list!
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Yo momma so ugly all the neighbours pitched in for curtains.
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Yo momma's so short she did a Self Delete jump off the curb.
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Yo momma's so short, you could see her feet on her driver license.
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Yo momma's so stupid, she call you a son of a bitch.
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Yo momma's so fat she's got more rolls than a bakery.
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Yo momma is so fat she falls off both sides of the bed.
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Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.
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Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.
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Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.
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Your mother's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks.
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Your mother's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.
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Your mother's so fat, you could slap her butt and ride the waves.
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Your mother's so fat, she needs a hula hoop to keep her socks up.
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Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
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Your mother's so fat, when they used her underwear for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
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Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she looks at the menu and says, "OK"!
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Your mom's so fat, when she lays on the beach, people run around yelling, "Free Willie!"
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Your mom's so big, she plays marbles with planets.
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Your mom's so fat, her belt size is the equator.
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Your mom's so fat, she has to buy two airplane tickets.
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Your mom's so fat, when she turns around they throw her a welcome back party.
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Your mom's so fat she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.
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Your mom's so fat when she took her dress to the cleaners they told her, "Sorry, we don't do curtains."
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Your mom's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.
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Your mom's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.
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Your mom's so big, when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white.
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Your mothers so fat, she was baptized at Sea World.
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Your mothers so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
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Your mothers so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
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Your mothers so fat, she's on a light diet...as soon as it gets light out she starts eating.
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Your mothers so big that she sat on a rainbow and got Skittles.
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Your mothers so fat that when she wore an "X" jacket a helicopter tried to land on her back.
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Your mothers head is so big, it shows up on radar.
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Your mothers so fat, when she went to the beach, she was the only one that got a tan.
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Your mothers so fat your bath tub has stretch marks.
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Your mothers so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
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Your mothers so fat, she got a run in her jeans.
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Your mothers so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.
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Your mothers so fat, she sells shade in the summer.
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Your mothers so fat, she left the house with high-heels and came back with flip-flops.
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Your mothers so fat, when I got on top of her my ears popped.

what?
anyway ill post a page of them
-unfunnysnip-
Totally not copy and paste.

well you wanted yo mama jokes...
I gave you yo mama jokes




some funny long ones
A little boy comes down for breakfast and his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," says the little boy.

His mother tells him that until he completes them, he won't be getting any breakfast.

Well, he's a little angry, so he goes to feed the chickens and kicks one. He goes to feed the cows, and kicks a cow as well. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile and says, "Are you going to tell him, or shall I?"



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"I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!" "He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him." The mother stated emphatically, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me." The boy quickly replied, "What good would that have done? My aim is much better than yours."



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As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth, pretending to eat them, before rushing out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed with a devastated look on her face. "Mommy, where's my booger?" she asked.

« Last Edit: August 03, 2010, 05:54:28 PM by Night Fox »

Your mom jokes are for 9 year old friends whose balls have yet to drop.

/thread

Your mom jokes are for 9 year old friends whose balls have yet to drop.

/thread
D'ohoho