My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once. He was shooting crows, but the police were too busy tear gassin' him to ask what he was doin' up there. He screamed for an entire year every single time he opened his eyes! Oh man! At first it was funny, then it just got sad, but then it got funny again! Oh man!
I ever tell you about the time me and Keith made a homemade bumper car ride with ridin' mowers in his backyard? Mower blade wounds over 90% of his body. I didn't run him over either, he somehow managed to fall under his own.
I ever tell you about the time Keith and I made fireworks? Now, I didn't know stuff about chemistry, but Keith figured "Gasoline burns, doesn't it?" Heh, third degree burns on ninety-five percent of his body. Man, people in the next city over were calling to complain about the smell of burning skin
