It was a normal day for A.R.C. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and grass was growing. Little did he know what was about to befall him...
He walked down Elm street, never expecting a bus filled with the Ohio State University marching band come careening down the street. Only too late, did he notice it was being driven by a drunken velociraptor. He quickly jumped out of the way of the bus, and did a backflip onto the the Hotdog vendor's dog. Pulling his AK47 with tactical rails and lights and optics, he quickly let loose a burst of bullets into the bus. The velociraptor, drunken in not only alcohol but also his rage, attempted to turn the bus but tipped it onto its side. A.R.C., never one to be caught off guard, quickly equipped all 253.56 of his hats, to get the tactical bonuses from all of them. Unfortunately, little did he expect to be pooped on by a giant vulture. As he recoiled in disgust from this unexpected attack from the sky, the velociraptor seized his chance. He completely eviscerated A.R.C., tore pegleg and hookhands from his body, and swallowed them whole. Luckily, I had just arrived on the scene. Witnessing this atrocity, I drew my desert eagle and shot it in the head. I quickly ran over to A.R.C., fearing he was dead. His last words to me before he passed were this: "Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly; the ill deeds along with the good, and let me be judged accordingly. The rest... is silence.”
We live in dire times, brothers. Only through our solidarity and strength, can we hope to survive this oncoming storm.
