sorry butthe art is terrible
My friend could do much worse.
MS Paint?Because that's what I used for my avatar.I still dont know what it is..
I'm not a personal fan of that eye-looking thing in the OP. It looks too much like that of my calendar.
I drew it using only the straight line tool.
That wasn't very smart. I guess you can't really learn these things when you're busy in the kitchen sending nudes to horny guys on an internet forum though.
This forum is swimming in bliss.Ignorant bliss.
It always has been.
August 11, 2010, 09:19:47 PMI'm sure you know this entire forum's history from the 2-3 months you've been here. And blissful to what? Here at Blockland, we don't serve ignorance, we only serve trolling with side of sarcastic remarks passed off as arguments.
The noise was quiet, but loud enough for him to know that he heard it. This you went from "the" to "this", and "noise" to "sound".. maybe it's just me but that doesn't seem like it flows right sound was a soft rumble, reverberating around his room as if a train was passing by.This sound was so dreadful and threatening, it sent chill bony these two adjectives in a row isn't the best idea, but you could pull it off with "chilled, bony hands" hands sliding down his spine. This was not the first time he had heard this sound, in fact it wasn't the second or third, or fourth or fifth or sixth .. the reader already knows it's happened numerous times, no need to drill it in yet no matter how many times he heard it, it still chilled him to his core. personally I think it'd sound better as "to the core" but that's just me As he lay in bed, cover high atop his head, he pondered what actions he could take. After a few indecisive moments, he lowered the sheet to stare at his closet, simply hoping the sound would stop, that it would leave his room and his life forever. Many tense minutes passed, and the sound showed no signs of stopping. Slowly, carefully, sounds better as "slowly, and carefully," or "slowly yet carefully," maybe even "cautiously," he swung his legs out of bed. He place placed his feet onto the floor. His The floor creaked and groaned under his weight, and he cursed the old house and its failing. Silently and cautiously, he reached for the dreaded door.reached the door, that dreaded door. His hand moved on its own accord, swinging itself to the door knob, His hand, mere inches away from the knob, covereding the last bit of distance between it and itsthe goal. The door crashed open, sending him sprawling to the floor with a harsh scream of pain. Looming over him was a beast, but of no kind he had ever seen before. The beast was as tall as the ceiling, and as wide as the door and half of it again. The stench was horrendous, rotting flesh and foetid breath making him gag. He scrambled to his feet, those beady eyes belonging to the monster the monster's beady eyes followed his movements with animalistic hate. He was its play thing, its entertainment and feast. A buffet of flesh and a dinner time treat. There was intelligence behind those murderous orbs. He gathered his wits, and leptsprung to his feet. He quickly scampered out of the reach of it's long arms. The beast reared up and roared, so loud was this roar the floor shook. Photos fell from the wall, and the boy clapped his hands to his ears, his senses in overloaded. With it's roar complete, it began to rumble towards him, a freight train of flesh and horror. With the monster bearing down upon him, he lept to the hallway door, hoping to escape his room. The beast changed course with agility that seemed to spring from nowhere. It crashed into him and the door
if I were to write this story, this is how I'd do it.this is just my opinion, but maybe you should read over it as some of these things I've changed might actually prove useful to you as a writer. I went from adding commentary to outright just changing things because it's simpler ;]
