Author Topic: "The Uprising" Half Life 2 Fanfic  (Read 664 times)

                      
                                         Chapter 1

                                         Welcome to Hell, Enjoy your Stay.


I woke up on the train, as it rumbled to a stop. I softly pushed myself up and started for the now open door of the train, and went along the metallic stairs, before being suddenly blinded by a small robotic piece of stuff. "Eaack.." I mumbled as I rubbed my eyes, which managed to somewhat rid the blinding white. I turned to see a police officer.. or atleast thats what I think the damn bastard was, pushing a poor man which knocked down a few briefcases from a orange cart. I stopped and turned to see a alien-thing using a broom to sweep away trash and small scrapes of dust and dirt. Huh. . I pushed through a revolving metal turn-stile, passing a girl who asked if I was the only one on the train.

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                                  Chapter 2
                               Deepening into the City



I shook my head and sighed, "No." as I started forward, passing the scattered briefcases and boxes, and walking through line. I was told I could go past by one of the officers.

[Several Minutes Later]


I entered a room, heading up the stairs. Citizens were in line to get a food packet. I began to move past the line, and the rails. As I stopped, I looked up to a 'Breencast', as a few of the citizens I've passed were talking about them. It turned off, and I started to move. I opened two doors and moved past, entering what seemed a city center. Seeming no chance of any good jobs in the city I would qualify for, I walked up to one of the officers. "H--" I was shoved away, as a stun-baton rattled, and let off a small white light. I starteed to continue, down a road. Little to know, that guard was following me. A few more left their post, following in a chase. I ran into an alleyway, and jumped, climbing over a fence. As I stumbled on top I grabbed a railing and then dropped down.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2011, 11:26:46 AM by LeeroyBlockhead »

ITT: gordon freemans thoughts right here


needs moar fan fic

ITT: gordon freemans thoughts right here


needs moar fan fic

Hmm, I might get started with the cont of chapter 1.

Btw: Freeman would know what the Alien was, since he beat and destroyed them nearly in Half Life 1.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2011, 07:19:09 AM by LeeroyBlockhead »

Maybe these are the thoughts of the OTHER two people on the train

You swear like a small child, and it's barely a paragraph, let alone a chapter. The title is just some random word with no relation to the content, you might as well have called it "Chapter One: Banana Split". If this is supposed to be Gordon Freeman's thoughts, he knows what a Vortigaunt is. The way you worded this
using a broom to sweep away dust
is just weird, you could have done that better.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2011, 09:50:53 AM by Qwepir »


Yet hardly anyone gets what I'm going at. "The Uprising" is the title as it seems fit. Kitty706 can tell a better story. This is just a text perspective.

Maybe these are the thoughts of the OTHER two people on the train
Negatory. Completely custom Citizen.


Needs:
1. Moar descriptive words
2. Less meaningless cursing
3. Moar setting development

Oh yes, and you should think a little bit, I have a feeling Gordon knew what the Vortigaunts were.