Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
You can’t be late until you show up.
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought; Where the forget is my ceiling?!
A guy wants to get his girlfriend something nice for her birthday. she says, “oh, just take me somewhere expensive.” So he drops her off at a gas station.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.