Synergize! Empower your workplace! Total cyber-immersion! Join the next generation of Web 1.0! This and more: The internet!
WHAT IS THE INTERNET
Simply put, think of all the magazines ever. Now connect these magazines with tubes and make the magazines readable on plastic boxes! That's the internet in a nutsack. Contrary to popular beliefs, the internet is neither a crime or witchcraft.
This is only the lip of the Ice-Burger that the internet has in store for you! Stake out your cyber-kilobytes today!
WHAT CAN I DO ON THIS "INTERNET BUSINESS"
The internet is a great platform for cyber-activities. Share your thoughts on a "Facial Networking site" and participate in Chat-Boxes with your friendlies! Play 16 color games! That's more colors than I can count on my hands, and I'm pretty darned tootin' at counting!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, HOW DO I ACCESS THIS "INTERNET BUSINESS"
Simply purchase a "Computer" (previously mentioned plastic magazine box) and an internet box (we forget what these are called, ask Monty at customer services for the name and approximate weight). Hook these babies up and you're ready to gain access to the internet!
I NEED HELP WITH THIS! I AM EITHER A. a toddler OR B. a charcoal briquette in business casual attire
Thankfully, we're here to help in this tumultuous, stone cold, hound-dog, etc. etc. environment of non-caring and non-solubles. Call us at 1-800-INTER-NETTE. Ask for Monty if you ail from the rather common condition of a taste of blood from prolonged bodily contact with Internet boxes.
