I was cleaning my room up because i couldn't find anything for stuff in there. I was looking through a drawer and found a picture of me and my ex-girlfriend. My heart sank. I remembered how much I loved her. Nothing in the world made me as happy as she did. I loved her with all my heart, and she loved me back just as much too. I liked skateboarding, so did she, I liked dubstep, so did she. Her and I did everything. She had to move to another state for job reasons of some sort, her aunt drove us there, when we finally dropped her off and she was about to go through the gate and go I hugged her and she said "I don't want to move on. I don't want another boy, I want you. I don't want to leave you." I said "I don't want to leave you either." Tears rolled down my face, she left and I sat down and cried, for about two minutes. She cried too as she walked away. I went home eagerly expecting her to get on skype. It's been forever and she hasn't, two years or so I believe.
Back to the present, I immediately without hesitation jumped on to facebook and looked her name up. I found nothing. I literally went through every page of her name results. I tried variations too. After about two hours of searching, I tried twitter, then MySpace. I checked skype. Not on, and hasn't been for a year or so. I checked MSN, not on either. I checked steam, hasn't been on for two years. I checked mutual friends on facebook, nothing. I don't have an MySpace or twitter so I couldn't look through followers of other people/friends of others. I tried her phone number. It said that the number was not a working number.
I sat down against the wall and I cried. Nothing in the world will make me happier then to be with her now. I kept thinking about her. I tried to get some sleep, but I just couldn't, I kept thinking of her, I tried to do everything I possibly could to forget about her. I couldn't. I thought back on what we did together. I remember how we used to hold hands and sit next to each other.
At this point I am screaming at myself for being an idiot and letting her go. I about five times now punched the wall. My mom checked up on me and I told her the whole story. My mom tried to calm me down, it's just that I wouldn't stay calm. I fell asleep for some reason right on the spot. My mom let me sleep.
In my dream, I dreamt of her, I dreamt of all the times we have been together. I got so depressed I woke myself up. I am again crying. I picked up a ps3 controller and I threw it against the wall in anger. I pulled some of my hair out in anger. I then looked at what I was doing and cried some more. I am in tears while writing this, and I feel like stuff. I really miss her.
When we went out, it wasn't a status thing, It was true for real love. I loved her and she loved me. It wasn't a peen thing. It was a real thing. I loved her for who she was, and at the same time she was beautiful. She liked me for the same too. I loved that girl so much. I really did.
I can go on and on about her, but I am just going to stop there. I feel like stuff.
This happened a few days ago, but the madness is just taking me over, so I felt like posting it now.
I am going to lock this thread because I don't want to go to off topic every time just to see this thread and remind myself of her. I have to let go. I want to let go, i don't want to feel sad anymore, I want to just let go.
Locking.
ALSO: Do not PM me about this, just don't
