forget you, go die 
If you've been following the news recently, you know that Koolkat should be in better control of his hormones. However, you might not know that Koolkat owns drawers and boxes full of legal documents, which he is convinced prove his position. I will start this discussion by arguing that I, not being one of the many fatuous sanguinary-types of this world, hope that this sends a strong message to people across the nation that Koolkat will simply continue to cause distress to people he doesn't know, has never seen, and who have done him no harm whatsoever. Then, I will present evidence that I have never read anything Koolkat has written that I would consider wise, logical, pertinent, reasonable, or scientific. His statement that the sun rises just for him is no exception. What's more, he really ought to to take something for his hysterical paranoia. I've heard that chlorpromazine works well. Really, some sort of medication should awaken Koolkat to the fact that if the country were overrun by contemptible, horny bludgers, we could expect to observe widespread discrimination in our daily lives—stares from sales clerks, taxis that don't stop, and unwarranted license and registration checks by police.
Koolkat's circulars are a spiritually destructive propaganda instrument aimed at our children. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that he has declared that he's staging a revolt against everyone who dares to prevent his indecent asseverations from spreading like a malignant tumor. Koolkat is revolting all right; the very sight of him turns my stomach. All kidding aside, I'm not a loopy person. I'd like nothing more than to extend my hand in friendship to Koolkat's chums and convey my hope that in the days to come we can work together to help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by Koolkat and his minions. Unfortunately, knowing them, they'd rather see to it that all patriotic endeavors are directed down blind alleys where they end only in frustration and discouragement because that's what Koolkat wants. Imagine, as it is not hard to do, that Koolkat wallows in his basest behavior. It then follows that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Koolkat spends his leisure time devising ever more doctrinaire ways to destroy our country from within.
Koolkat does not appeal to most people as being the most endearing or public-minded of citizens. Maybe his image would improve somewhat if he stopped trying to get everyone to march in lockstep with his quixotic, callow factotums. I've heard him say that he is a voice of probity. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is Koolkat secretly trying to topple society? The key to answering such questions is to realize that for Koolkat, all roads lead to stoicism. He likes to argue that anyone who disagrees with him is a potential terrorist. Even if there were a faint glimmer of truth in that argument, it would be extremely faint. The truth is that all of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of Koolkat's caustic, evil witticisms. They are not a cause; they are an effect. As a parting thought, let these sterling words of wisdom be most thoroughly and attentively perused: We must try our level best to reveal the nature and activity of Koolkat's helpers and expose their inner contexts as well as their ultimate final aims.
