Torture may be an alternative here, just make sure you don't kill him.
okay keep him above ground or he will explode and i will bash you with my ps2.
now.
*ties maxwell on a pole and puts him on a stand, having a drop of water dripping on his forehead every second*
force feed him every 3 days.
and force him to have a drink every 40 hours.
put him on a campfire and cook him till medium rare in a week.
forget the ecosystem.
