See my only problem is that he already knows English to a huge degree.
Knowing how to READ it is completely different than knowing how to write it. I bet you can read all sorts of words, yet you probably can't spell them, if you're not looking at them.
Also, in regards to reading and hearing, I personally "hear" them in my head as I read. Furling doesn't know what that sounds like, so he can't. I'm not entirely certain what reading is like to him, but it's different than for you, or I.
(I mostly just skimmed through the posts not by Dissolve, so if either thing has been stated, forgive me.)
When did Stocking become awesome?
About the same time Dissolve turned into a huge moron, it would seem.