Sue that bitch for assault.
Girls are allowed to hit guys you whore.
For her birthday you should walk up to her and shove her head into your crotch.
[i mg]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8d/All_men_are_created_equal.JPG[/img]man1 [man] Show IPA noun, plural men, verb, manned, man·ning, interjectionnounthe human individual as representing the species, without reference to love; the human race; humankind: Man hopes for peace, but prepares for war.
Guys get to be richards and get away with it though, so it balances out.