Turn this stuff into a DirectTV commercial.
When you pull out your cable bill, you get mad.
When you get mad, you throw your TV out the window.
When you throw your TV out the window, to keep from getting bored, you get a girlfriend.
When you get a girlfriend, you break up.
When you break up, you get sad and do drugs.
When you get sad and do drugs, you have love with a girl while high.
When you have love with a girl while high, you impregnate her.
When you impregnate her, she does more drugs.
When she does more drugs, you end up being the father of a deformed baby.
Don't be the father of a deformed baby. Switch to DirectTV.