Author Topic: Creative Writing NEW STORY PG. 2! 6/7/12  (Read 1451 times)


I love you Jerkface and Rave. You are the reason I love writing. I hope you feel amazing because you supplied me with such helpful constructive criticism.

I love you Jerkface and Rave. You are the reason I love writing. I hope you feel amazing because you supplied me with such helpful constructive criticism.

"WHY DO YOU HATE MY special interest STORY?"

Nevermind, OP changed story due to Negativity.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2012, 12:42:27 AM by Menen »

Any responses on my new story?

It's not really story. It's a few one sentence long journal entries then a brief description of what happened to the writer of those entries. You could make a broader plot by beginning with early disappearances of people who went into the forest, then add some investigations, slowly making the forest more and more sinister until the person who wrote that journal is killed.

^ My attempt at constructive criticism, I hope it helps you.

Kind of boring and you went the half-assed i-dont-know-what-im-doing way. As in, you did "journals" which are really dumb and nearly every 10 year old does them because 1) you dont need detail 2) its hard for people to say its bad because its someones personal thoughts 3) it looks good.

Never do journals because they are dumb, in other words.

heyy guise hers my story

"hi today im goin to tlel u a legEND"

rat pls x/100 :)))

Also your story is meh, but i'm not a writer either :()

Yeh, okay, it's just gruesome and short now

All constructive criticism is very helpful, thank you.

Christian Weston Chandler 6/7/12
 "The way you have trained yourself to be an ignorant slut must make those boys love you, but they can't have you! You're mine," Christian whispered into the ear of his hentai blow-up doll he had bought used from Ebay for 20 dollars. Christian had dressed the doll in clothes he made out of paper. "You can scream all you want, nobody will hear you except me!" He ripped the paper clothes off, his three inch snake started to perk up. "Scream!" He covered the small doll with his obese body. He thrusted slowly into the doll's rubber hole. "Baby I love you, I'm coming for you, I'm coming!" Christian quickly spat on his index finger and shoved it into his star fish as he made three final thrusts, then rolled off of the now deflated doll. He took the finger out of his star fish. It was now covered in stuff, so he licked it off. Christian went to play Animal Crossing on his Gamecube, still nude.

Christian is real if you didn't already know. Look him up.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2012, 07:27:16 PM by weaver123 »


weaver, what the forget do you smoke?

"WHY DO YOU HATE MY special interest STORY?"

Nevermind, OP changed story due to Negativity.

It's funny because I did supply a minute amount of helpful advice.

An extremely minute amount of it.

All constructive criticism is very helpful, thank you.

Christian Weston Chandler 6/7/12
 "The way you have trained yourself to be an ignorant slut must make those boys love you, but they can't have you! You're mine," Christian whispered into the ear of his hentai blow-up doll he had bought used from Ebay for 20 dollars. Christian had dressed the doll in clothes he made out of paper. "You can scream all you want, nobody will hear you except me!" He ripped the paper clothes off, his three inch snake started to perk up. "Scream!" He covered the small doll with his obese body. He thrusted slowly into the doll's rubber hole. "Baby I love you, I'm coming for you, I'm coming!" Christian quickly spat on his index finger and shoved it into his star fish as he made three final thrusts, then rolled off of the now deflated doll. He took the finger out of his star fish. It was now covered in stuff, so he licked it off. Christian went to play Animal Crossing on his Gamecube, still nude.

Christian is real if you didn't already know. Look him up.
May I Sig this?


Tomorrow I will write a story about a man and his dog.