The Issue
Many young, educated, and unemployed people are frustrated because jobs are being outsourced to workers in Bigtopia. On the other hand, low end service industries are seeing a shortage of workers, sparking debate over possible solutions to the employment gap.
The Debate
"Frankly, we shouldn’t be wasting time giving our children costly educations, just to have Bigtopians take their jobs," remarks Marleen Jones, a wealthy business executive sharing a drink in your office. "Let’s lift the ban on child labor and instead put our children to work in service jobs in retail—jobs that can’t be sent to other countries. They might not get paid much, but it’ll at least get them working and this economy moving again." Handing you a wad of money, he continues, "And we’ll both make a Washer or two off it as well…"
Zeke Singh, author of "Command Economies: The Communist Ideal" and part-time florist, slips into your office and says, "On that thought, perhaps we could use the government to allocate our resources... erm... children. To help economic efficiency, we’ll split them up early on, sending some right into the workforce where the economy needs them. We’ll raise the others through the education system." The noted statist thinker, deftly rearranging your vase of roses, quickly adds, "It might be expensive to manage, and kids won’t get much choice in what kind of a job they get, but I think everyone will be happy after realizing that everything fits… perfectly…"
"Our people need jobs, but giving more money to fat-cat business owners isn’t the answer!" remarks Konrad Peters of the Occupy Mikorevitch movement, unaware of the "Hiring" sign in a nearby department store window. "In fact, we should tighten regulations on robber barons to ensure they put our workers first. And make them pay a little more in taxes to help support New Irajinia's hard-working people as well! Sure, the businesses may not like it, but it will help out the common man. Help the 99%!"
"All ze jobs are VHERE?!" General Von Gugelheimer lets out a piercing scream. "Zose Bigtopians and zeir business friends need to remember vhich is ze better country! Never mind zat ze businesses at fault are based out of New Irajinia. Let’s blow zose Bigtopians off ze map! Double ze military's size, and ve von’t have to vorry about zem anymore. Trade vill take a hit, but isn't ZE POWER vorth it? Hahaha… HAHAHAHA!"
This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 4.
I got a maniacal laugh as I read the last one.
BIGTOPIA SHALT NO LONGER EXIST!
Poll