Author Topic: SCP-504: the game  (Read 4287 times)

why did the blonde loose her job?
because she had no job to begin with!

The Tomato turned green for a moment then back to red.

Why does Snoop Dog need an umbrella?
Fo Drizzle...

Tomato clocked at 60 MPH, skull fractures found.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

tomato flew at face at speed of sound, you're gonna need some tweetment yourself.


Pull my finger.

Tomato clocked at 5 pmg and slammed into abdomen. Slight / Moderate brusing.

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

Nothing happens
At all.

what's blue and kills people.

ford cars and trucks.

Tomato completely time traveled on yo ass to bitch slap you right after you were born


Why did the horse have bad table maners?

Because the turtle didnt give a stuff

Tomato moves further from subject


snake


Tomato sighs, and flys over to couch where it resides at the moment eating a bag of potato chips.

So back in the day when the glocks first came out, everyone was all like, "lol plastic"
Anyway, this dude goes over his friends house, and decides to get something out of the fridge.
Opens the door, and lo and behold we have food stuffed into glocks and magazines with veggies sticking out of them.
He says to his friend, "what's with the fridge?"
He replies, "ran out of plastic containers"

Tomato moves at about 1mph. Drops to the ground, then rolls.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 loving 8 loving 9.

Tomato laughs.

What did the grape say to the other grape?
Nothing, grapes can't talk.

Tomato goes from 1MPH to [REDACTED]MPS in [REDACTED] seconds.
Subject horribly burned and scarred in multiple areas.

Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
NAH IT'S TOO CHEESY!

TOMATO ACTIVATES CAPSLOCK MODE
SUBJECT BECAME DEAF

WHAT IS LOUD AND YELLS?

CAPSLOCK.