Quite frankly, I wish I was that strong. It seems so easy right? Happiness is a choice, being alone is always your fault, you could fix it all if you wanted. It's not like that. I couldnt ever expect anyone to understand me nor anyone else who has depression or suicidal thoughts. We all process things very differently and therefore, no mattter how similar our situations are we can never fully understand eachother. What I'm trying to get at by saying all this is that no, its not a choice. I didnt want to cut myself or take antidepressents or cry all the time, all of those things are done alone so its obviously not for "attention". It's because thats how I cope with things and believe it or not, those work for me. Theyre not the best, I know that, but its better than just leaving this earth right now. At least I get by everyday and go on. Nobody chooses to be depressed and Im sick and tired of everyone dismissing it like its so easy to get out of. That sounds so dumb, if we could be happy with our life and love every single day, of course we would. But depression is clinical too, sometimes its just in your brain and you cant get it out, and as I stated before, sometimes its the surroundings that make you feel trapped, like you cant escape. Depression is like this deep dark hole that sucks you in further and further, and it makes you think you want to be there, like you don't need help and your fine. But its far from that. It's horrible and competely ruins your judgement and decision making skills. Its horrible and I wish it'd never have started existing in this world. But unfortunately, it does, and we all have to deal with it now, but the least you can do is talk to someone who's sad, even if you're sad too, because instead of making people feel how you feel you could both make yourselves feel better
