The Darkness(A short story)

[epicbat3]

I't was a Cold, Dark, Winter afternoon as young 13 year old John was discovering the new city he has moved
into, "Jesus its more cold then Alaska." Said the young man as he walks down the sidewalk of BlackBird's RD,
Which leads to the city of Gutani, His Mom And Dad where always to busy to spend time with him, But soon
as the young man reached the city every light in the city Shut off. John got nervous he slowly begun to run
back up his road but it took a little over a mile, "What the hell is going on" John said as he ran up his road
trying roughly to get back to his house. He tripped over his loose Shoe string and hit a mailbox which caused him to black out. He woke up to find him self in a dark room with a candle and heads all on the walls, it was nothing like john had seen in the movies when heads where cut off. Some dark shadow figured entered the room speaking in a voice changer, He slowly spoke to John "Why, Hello there whats your name?" John stared up at the dark figure looking terrified. "Uh, Uh, John" Said John as he looked scared. The dark shadow figured answered again"Nice Name." John tried to make a break for it but the door slammed in his face as he tried to run for it.
 
 I will finish the story later Do not hate on the story its my first try at even making one

[Ad Bot]

[Igloos]

That actually wasn't bad at all, I didn't mind it and I read it (which means I wasn't initially bored).

But here are a few tips: if you are trying to write a story or book aiming towards children, then you can constantly say who said what, if it's a book or story for everyone or for adults, readers can interpret who is saying something. Another tip: if you really wanna be a writer when you are older of some sort, I advise you to use proper grammar and before you publish your story or book; always proof-read which means to look over what you wrote to check if you made any spelling or grammar mistakes and to see if the story is the way you want it to be. One last tip: try not to use the same word over and over again in a story or book.

[termianallyCapricious]

Nice story I liked it, make another dont leave a cliffhanger :(

[TheKid]

ew
loving ugly