Author Topic: Your Life Stories (The UBER Green Texting Thread)  (Read 3315 times)

>Brother's birthday
>That part is unrelated I just wanted to have a good opening
>Put my PS2 on the edge of my wardrobe as I was moving it to a different room
>it's sitting right on the edge
>ever
>so
>closely
>it falls right on my toe
>holy forget the pain
>holy forget the pain
>days pass, my toe is in tremendous pain
>skin under toenail starting to turn green
>days later, the toenail falls off
>eww


true story

OP, did you get that pic from emotibot? Because if you did, I was the anon who said that pic needs a brazzers logo :L

>Brother's birthday
>That part is unrelated I just wanted to have a good opening
>Put my PS2 on the edge of my wardrobe as I was moving it to a different room
>it's sitting right on the edge
>ever
>so
>closely
>it falls right on my toe
>holy forget the pain
>holy forget the pain
>days pass, my toe is in tremendous pain
>skin under toenail starting to turn green
>days later, the toenail falls off
>eww


true story

I think I felt a bit of your pain through the boundaries of time and space using sympathy...

>be 12
>be hanging out with friend at park
>"hey, wanna masturbate together"
>O_O
>"uhhhh, no thanks..."
>"dude i've done it with plenty of guys"
>O_O!!!
>"i think you're going home early"
>he goes home
>receive text
>"ok i guess we can do it later then"
>never text him again
Can I have your friend?


>be 6
>pisses in trash can like every day
>squad car rolls by
> mom gets cop and tells him i piss in the trash can
>get some mouthwash and clean my mouth

>be 6
>pisses in trash can like every day
>squad car rolls by
> mom gets cop and tells him i piss in the trash can
>get some mouthwash and clean my mouth

What does your mouth have to do with your urine?


ew what the hell
I'm Mr Man, what did you expect?


>be 6
>pisses in trash can like every day
>squad car rolls by
> mom gets cop and tells him i piss in the trash can
>get some mouthwash and clean my mouth
Why did you need to clean your mouth?

Maybe all six-year-olds have a urine special interest...

>be 6
>pisses in trash can like every day

>Be six.
>Think it's a cool idea to piss in my parents' closet.

>be 12
>in park with friend
>"hey wanna go climb on top of that storage pod"
>sure
>go get trashcan, empty it
>set up trashcan by pod
>stand on trashcan, climb up
>hey dude come on up
>"ok"
>he stands on can
>"im gonna use the sign ok"
>imokwiththis.jpg
>he puts his leg up on sign, slips
>somehow he flies backwards and catches his chest on sign
>"OW forget"
>i jump down only to loving sprain my ankle
>we're both lying on the ground
>mfw

« Last Edit: April 16, 2013, 10:04:51 PM by hodototman »

>be 8 years old
>sister is away at her friends house, coming home soon
>find thumbtacks and a 2x4 lego and has a brilliant idea
>combines them and puts the lego in front of sister's door
>sister comes in her room
>steps on lego with thumbtack
>foot is gushing blood
>goes to hospital
>doctor says the thumbtack was rusty
>spends my whole weekend in a hospital room

mfw


mfw means my face when, btw
I think he thought it was "motherloving win"

I think he thought it was "motherloving win"

That wouldn't make sense because he lost out by having to spend his weekend in a hospital.

Besides, his inflection implied anything but satisfaction.