some light suggestions/improvements
second paragraph, second sentence:
instead of
These tests are critical to the school’s funding, so teachers are pushed to make the main part of their curriculum about memorizing what will be on the test, so their school can stay above the water.
try
No Child Left Behind, or NCLB, requires tests that determine the school's funding. Teachers are forced to make the majority of the curriculum based on the test's information and practice memorizing the information in order to ensure that the school will have adequate funding.
second paragraph, fourth sentence:
While state tests reflect improvement of improvements in math and science, as well as a narrower more narrow achievement gap,[2] the fact alone that states can set their own test score standards nullifies the data; the data is too garbled to come to any meaningful conclusion.
above are my noted corrections, however the italicized seems unnecessary and the underlined may be a poor word choice. i wouldn't say nullified, but i'm having a hard time thinking of an alternative. the phrase "as well as a more narrow achievement gap" is also weird, and you may want to get rid of that as well because it adds confusion to the idea in this sentence.
2nd para, next sentence:
Since NCLB was signed in, reading scores on the National Assessment of Educational Progress have stagnated, the rate of improvement of math scores has slowed, and the achievement gap on the NAEP has widened.[2] (this was evaluated in 2008).
the ending parenthetical citation is placed wrong. try this:
NCLB statistics from 2008 showed that reading scores on the National Assessment of Educational Progress have stagnated, the rate of improvement of math scores has declined, and the achievement gap on the NAEP has widened.
3rd para, 1st sentence:
The aforementioned tests are much more than busywork however; they affect the school’s funding.
don't say "are much more". just say "are more than". "much" is a noisy word here and just acts as a piece of fluff in the way.
last paragraph, you may want to say "issue a funding boost" instead of "bailout" but it's not really a biggie.
essay was well written though, just those slight grammatical whatnots.
i have a friend who writes a-grade papers for students. for like 20-40 bucks depending how long or how much research needed. original real work :D
eugh, that's lame though. yeah you could pay to get a paper written but for an essay where it's just like "write something persuasive" you shouldn't have to pay someone to write that for you :s
