No money or health coverage? NO PROBLEM! I specialize in free in-home abortions!!! I can even preserve the fetus in case you want a souvenir of our magical experience! If you want special altercations made to the fetus, you're in luck! I can offer multitudes of affordable enhancements, including, but not limited to: Color dying(blue, green, purple, red), fake horns, goat hooves, bat wings, and even extended ears! Trick grandma into believing you've aborted the ANTICHRIST. Fun and excitement GUARANTEED!