The Strangers- a book I'm writing.

[Shell]

Nah man, you're critique is all negative. 4/10 sucks pretty bad would not listen to.

it's all negative because i didnt like anything about it. i tried to like it, i really did. but i couldnt.

[Ad Bot]

[Mulch]

it's all negative because i didnt like anything about it. i tried to like it, i really did. but i couldnt.

Doesn't really matter that you didn't like it, opinions, whatever. Rolling back before the argument takes over the thread, be negative, and be critical but focus more on how he could improve it instead of "It sucks now here's a joke rating to show how serious I take it."

[Benjamin Lopez]

Setro, would It be okay for me to show you how I would at least write the first paragraph? Just as something to kinda work off of.

EDIT:Also, why did you come to the Blockland Forums to get help/feedback about your book? Why not choose another website or forum?

[Jairo]

if he wanted help from writers why did he come to a lego forum

[jac107]

If he wanted help from writers why did he come to a lego forum

Because some of us are writers. The rest of them can at least point out a few obvious things.
But he'd probably get better help from some writing site, you're right.

[Skull Candy]

Everyone is just saying how stuffty this is. Why can't you guys tell him how to make it better? Oh that's right none of you are writers anyway.

Ugh... you're one of THOSE guys...

So what if I'm not a writer? I can tell a good story from a bad story, and I'm not some successful writer. Same thing with songs, games, etc.

This story has horrible pacing, wooden characters, and just HORRIBLE formatting. Not to mention, he wants to SELL THIS! He should at least start with some short stories that he can share around the internet. He can't expect immediate fame. Are you happy, now?

[Acerblock]

if he wanted help from writers why did he come to a lego forum

why do people always use this excuse. This isn't just a lego forum.

[GodlyFireFight]

why do people always use this excuse. This isn't just a lego forum.

We're a close little community. With a public garden.
And a library.

[Doughboy]

We're a close little community. With a public garden.
And a library.

a library filled with books on mlp, furries, video games and containing the grand book of nobs

[carolcat]

Then what should I use? Pictures?

hello let me introduce you to your new friend called the quote tags
a handy way to format posts like this without stretching people's pages horribly and also shrinks the text size to a more compact format automatically
i would recommend you use it for stuff like this

[xSetrox]

I've lost a lot of inspiration, like I expected...

[Mulch]

Ugh... you're one of THOSE guys...

So what if I'm not a writer? I can tell a good story from a bad story, and I'm not some successful writer. Same thing with songs, games, etc.

This story has horrible pacing, wooden characters, and just HORRIBLE formatting. Not to mention, he wants to SELL THIS! He should at least start with some short stories that he can share around the internet. He can't expect immediate fame. Are you happy, now?

Nope forget off you loving friend. Don't try to be such a hardass.

User was banned for this post

[Jairo]

Nope forget off you loving friend. Don't try to be such a hardass.

I can't tell whether you're genuinely being this stubborn or not

[Mulch]

I can't tell whether you're genuinely being this stubborn or not

Stubborn?

[Jake White]

I can't tell whether you're genuinely this much of a cunt or not

this'd fit more appropriately IMO