I can't stand being near my family, I love my parents and all that, but just don't wan't to live with them anymore.
I've been having real mental problems for the past few years and have even secretly went to a doctor to talk about it. He said I should visit a psychiatrist, but I haven't done that yet. I've talked with my parents as well, but they haven't done jack stuff.
Every member of my family has his own problems, but they all take their anger on me,
my dad thinks he had a bad childhood and can't control his anger and mostly runs around the house yelling at people. My mom spends 12 hours at work and has these really annoying mood shifts. She also loses control of herself sometimes and becomes really violent and destructive. My grandfather is spying on me because he thinks I'm doing drugs, he really annoys me and thinks he knows everything about me and keeps telling me I should stop seeing my friends, but he's just paranoid because he couldn't make his children stay off drugs (my aunt). My grandmother supposedly has a hatridge for men, because her father left her during the war, that's what my dad told me. And my cousin is an idiot.
I really don't know what I should do, I keep having dark thougts. I wan't to get rid of them so much, I can't get them out of my head for a second, from as soon as I wake up untill I finally fall asleep. This also sucks because I really want to be a positive person now but I can't, because I'm depressed and desperate all the time, I don't talk much and rarely smile.
Please help me.