Do you read Homestuck? Read the beginning of Chapter 6 of the trollfic "Tarvos and Fairie: A Love Story". You can skip the first author's note, if you'd like. The others, though, add to the quality of the fic. I've never heard it read dramatically. I will let you have my first adopted child if you do this.If not, I guess the author's stuffty poetry will suffice. (Those are two links, pick and choose)I might be a little obsessive over this trollfic writer, but I love bad fanfiction so much you don't understand.
BlockoBlocko, you are a loving friend.Please go die in a whole, you whore.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1nz4d04Xg4M
Please record the following words: Nugget, nugget in my bowl. I need to fill you in a hole.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0kI0Tzfjvnd